tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-187776722024-03-23T13:17:16.480-05:00My Crazy LifeDarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07182639141354834402noreply@blogger.comBlogger278125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18777672.post-59665533002232210592014-09-02T23:21:00.001-05:002014-09-02T23:21:37.174-05:00Missing <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgo9pA89QD3AenW_9TC6xC1uSbHfoyb7cjIwIJcjet7KQAM8fgfaXnDyRk9vLj63MXCB4B4_nRFa1GDB4kaSNI4MEpRsdrTyyucB4uFx5YLm0D5Fg_H02IBqYZHQlNFhSNsmvax3A/s1600/Let+it+.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgo9pA89QD3AenW_9TC6xC1uSbHfoyb7cjIwIJcjet7KQAM8fgfaXnDyRk9vLj63MXCB4B4_nRFa1GDB4kaSNI4MEpRsdrTyyucB4uFx5YLm0D5Fg_H02IBqYZHQlNFhSNsmvax3A/s1600/Let+it+.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="color: #3d85c6; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Where the heck have I been ! Probably, you think that i will be referring to my last post on October the 17th of last year 2013 ! No no no, the situation is a little bit more intense and complicated and might be unexplainable. </span><br />
<span style="color: #3d85c6; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I went missing in 2010. Several attempts were made to salvage my disappearance, but they all failed.</span><br />
<span style="color: #3d85c6; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I have always had the urge to blog, I used to log in multiple times every month, trying to write something, but I end up with either a few random non-sense sentences or a blank saved draft. I used to fall asleep on the keyboard, for the lack of inspiration or the excess of depression. </span><br />
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<span style="color: #3d85c6; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">One of the sad moments that I used to go through - in relation to my talk here - during the past 4 years was talking to those people whom I inspired one day with an idea or a thought that i threw somewhere in my blog and encouraged them to start their own blogs. I wont deny the thrill and rush I feel temporarily when they send me a link to their blogs, but that feeling not to last too long especially when facing the reality of where I ended.</span><br />
<span style="color: #3d85c6; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Today, from the ashes I rise! I have all the intentions and desires not to fail again to maintain pouring my brain squeeze in here. </span><br />
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Darhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07182639141354834402noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18777672.post-15358249111580649582013-10-17T22:43:00.000-05:002013-10-18T01:55:57.950-05:00The Next Sixty Minutes<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpe9ivwR9uSSQgiPse2eD9_0QcgHzolGSBoiHIdLp7cZG-hpubH-uZxXjWyoRnwcV1cjHBN8X5SfmrDsd1QMtU9wJYdoyMsSqaH_bxIJuHBoPCAlV6Izo2H4bIwQdNoOmsoJVRag/s1600/Tied_Up_by_lennuk.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpe9ivwR9uSSQgiPse2eD9_0QcgHzolGSBoiHIdLp7cZG-hpubH-uZxXjWyoRnwcV1cjHBN8X5SfmrDsd1QMtU9wJYdoyMsSqaH_bxIJuHBoPCAlV6Izo2H4bIwQdNoOmsoJVRag/s1600/Tied_Up_by_lennuk.jpg" height="214" width="320" /></a><span style="color: #3d85c6; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Waking up at 4 AM , after a restless night , with an annoying stabbing pain in the chest , wasn't the most delightful thing anyone would like to wake up with. Thirty minutes is the time I spent in bed ignoring the pain , convincing myself it will fade away . However , getting up , slowly walking to the bathroom , when I noticed not enough air was around to breath ! I leaned on the nearest chair , in which I found myself sitting still in no time ! After which the recording of the next sixty minutes started . The next sixty minutes of my life were remarkably enough to inspire me to write this . I found myself in a situation that I have never been in before , experiencing some unforgettable mystifying moments !</span><br />
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<span style="color: #3d85c6; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The main constituent was pain , marinated with a tinge of Loneliness , and mingled with a splatter of disability & helplessness . I sat there for 60 minutes struggling with the worst pain I have ever had in my life . The finest movement in any muscle will cause me a shooting pain through out my chest ! Every time my intercostals contract , a burst of pain explode along my left 5th rib embracing all over the chest , precluding me from breathing . It was slipping my breaths away from me . Walking back to bed where my phone was laying seemed impossible at that time . </span><br />
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<span style="color: #3d85c6; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">In the middle of my misery , abruptly it hit me , intensifying my pain & deepening my wound . A sorrowful & lamentable cloud of loneliness started to creep around me . I have never walked on the ugly side of loneliness till yesterday . A storm of random thoughts of all the stories that I have come across during the past few years of people found down at their own apartments not led to till days was getting closer every minute . Despite remaining optimistic and believing that an inevitable hit was not to happen , I started to think how dreadful & traumatizing this can be , especially for those who are fragile to start with . I wished for someone that I can lean on . During those sixty minutes I tasted the bitterness of loneliness in my heart</span><br />
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<span style="color: #3d85c6; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Ironically , and in front of the same mirror , that I always look in proudly after getting back from the gym fully charged with energy & pride , I stood disabled . During my sixty minutes of impairment , and despite all the distraction , I got the chance to fly away with my thoughts . I realized that regardless to how much strength , knowledge , power , health , or wealth someone have , the tiniest thing in life can wipe it all out . </span><br />
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<span style="color: #3d85c6; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It doesn't matter who we are , what we do , or how we think , because once the clock start ticking , you would just wish for that big hand to go all the way around in a second !</span></div>
Darhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07182639141354834402noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18777672.post-60385573581935171192013-10-06T17:55:00.003-05:002013-10-06T17:57:51.917-05:00No Promises !<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOK5m8hfhrAaJO9wCCW4E4a59lQyqsqR2Eykc2zjtrft4Hx6X0RWyJAXgi3Fi4FX-wUNoptU_MRtj2p8xwg5lCyf2Qxa9One9d6hOSmWt-uOXVuJglQWwJadNW8e8jnxIMLGDfEg/s1600/Trust.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOK5m8hfhrAaJO9wCCW4E4a59lQyqsqR2Eykc2zjtrft4Hx6X0RWyJAXgi3Fi4FX-wUNoptU_MRtj2p8xwg5lCyf2Qxa9One9d6hOSmWt-uOXVuJglQWwJadNW8e8jnxIMLGDfEg/s1600/Trust.jpg" height="213" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="color: #3d85c6; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">During my last night shift , a week ago , I was inspired by one of my COPD patients , who was just discharged from the hospital a week earlier for an exacerbation , yet presented again with the same problem. </span><br />
<span style="color: #3d85c6; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The encounter was casual . His answer to my question if he was still smoking was " Yes " . In a monotonous & non-offensive voice I stated " Didn't your doctor advice you to quit smoking last time " . Deceptively , he was trying to convince me that no one did & he will be serious about quitting this time . A small thought box popped out of my head saying " Dude , probably my 5 years old niece knows that smoking is not going to do your COPD any good ". I had not doubts that he was previously counseled hundreds of times about smoking . However , I believed what he said and encouraged him to do so .</span><br />
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<span style="color: #3d85c6; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Interestingly , how we act blind , denying the obvious facts in front of our eyes , to believe in the blurry mirage far away from us . </span><br />
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<span style="color: #3d85c6; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I have always trusted people , having no doubts or putting no second thoughts in their truthfulness . The only few times I detour away from my path is when I am deeply affected . I have always been a man of logic , and that has never gone against my extreme optimism even in the toughest moments . But seriously , how am I supposed to act , when my logic goes insane , and falls apart in front of the fort of her nonsense . How am I supposed to act when my optimism loses faith , and falls in the darkness of her intransigence . </span><br />
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<span style="color: #3d85c6; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">How does she promise and expect me to trust , with no single proof to what she said , yet not few clues confuting it . Am I going to be faulted if I retreat to save what is left of my logic & optimism before a massacre is definite and can never be avoided ! </span><br />
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Darhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07182639141354834402noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18777672.post-80175061838686622862013-09-29T05:52:00.004-05:002013-09-29T05:52:35.117-05:00Today's Future , Tomorrow's past <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">How can dreams vanish before sleeping , </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">How can hope be lost before desperation , </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">How can candles melt before being lit ,</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">How can light be dim before being seen ,</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">How can a baby die before being born ,</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">How can a nation be occupied before being independent ,</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">How can summer be cold before starting , </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">How can water freeze before its cold , </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">How can rain dry before it falls , </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">How can flowers stink before blossoming , </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">How can trees be futile before being planted ,</span></span><br />
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</span></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">How can a heart break before falling in love ,</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">How can love ends before it starts , &</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">How can today's future be tomorrow's memory .</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Interesting , how sometimes things that we never experienced , ends up to be a memory , a memory that we would never want to forget .</span></span><br />
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Darhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07182639141354834402noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18777672.post-24142428063973576462013-08-22T23:25:00.001-05:002013-08-22T23:25:56.717-05:00Annoying <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">"If you love something set it free. If it comes back to you, it's yours. If it doesn't, it never was "</span></span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;"><br /></span></span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZqI0JUCDPLDbZ2N1IFtIrNiX-g0vYYFg91ADl2-z7msyEaytXjrpVqce3Vz04zqWUoM9esmgOeCfyRNMIz3KSJCKhpe0L0WzsmC5z8RvjBPLUtG4FSwlH5bU3kyGRJZbOyKj7aQ/s1600/My_alarm_clock__by_luscious_cookie.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZqI0JUCDPLDbZ2N1IFtIrNiX-g0vYYFg91ADl2-z7msyEaytXjrpVqce3Vz04zqWUoM9esmgOeCfyRNMIz3KSJCKhpe0L0WzsmC5z8RvjBPLUtG4FSwlH5bU3kyGRJZbOyKj7aQ/s400/My_alarm_clock__by_luscious_cookie.jpg" width="290" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">I have always thought of this phrase when talking about relations , especially when it is unidirectional . I would still believe that is true , I really cant think of any better examples where this phrase can be applied . </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Interestingly , is the contradicting & overlapping convoluted factors that someone needs to keep in balance in order to have his dilemmas clarified & solved . </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;"> You dont want to be so reluctant in being reasonable & understanding in order not to be interpreted as careless and not being serious . </span></span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;"> On the other hand , </span></span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">the right amount of effort & thought needs to be put to get someone , but not a bit more , because that tiny sprinkle you add is potent to label you annoying !</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Annoying ! Yes annoying . ~ Ironic smile ~ Putting a little bit of an extra effort to prove & show someone what they really mean to you is considered annoying . A little bit more care is tedious ! In which religion or logic that has been listed !</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Brutality , that is what I describe being called so . Just imagine how deep that word can stab .... It is like a slap on the face , it is like a curse that boom takes you away from dream land to hell before you even blink . No time for you to think .</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Anyways , I am criticizing no one , and not even interested . The whole point is the striking ironic contradiction between the delicate meaning of actions and the murky way they are being understood .</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">That being said , the enormous amount of pressure it imposes is capable of steeling all the glow from you , to end up lame , silly , and maybe more annoying </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">It is critical funny , that I am literally getting anxious for a hypothetical situation that I am trying to understand and figure out what can be done .</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">In the past I used to believe if it doesnt come back , hunt it down . B</span></span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">ut over the years , I learned it should never be unidirectional no matter what ! And at the end of the day , you keep what is worth keeping .</span></span></div>
Darhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07182639141354834402noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18777672.post-84956631688743356582013-08-18T00:44:00.002-05:002013-10-06T09:54:17.886-05:00Confusion<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Love</span><br />
<span style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Independence </span><br />
<span style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Honesty</span><br />
<span style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Chance</span><br />
<span style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Common sense </span><br />
<span style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Patience </span><br />
<span style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Insistence </span><br />
<span style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Hope </span><br />
<span style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Irony </span><br />
<span style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Past</span><br />
<span style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Dignity </span><br />
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<span style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">All are ideas that have been floating in my mind recently . </span><br />
<span style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Despite all twirling around a single thing , an impact seems inevitable . </span><br />
<span style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Over the last week , I have logged in few times to write about each one of them , but I kept getting distracted by a different idea each time . </span><br />
<span style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I think time is the missing ingredient that will definitely sort everything out .</span></div>
Darhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07182639141354834402noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18777672.post-10893286581285779902013-03-13T05:54:00.001-05:002013-03-13T11:28:20.543-05:00My fault<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiY1HsowHBbpChRz7PjUjsiMnMzcVGNis0eH2kiUzgY4_0dUxgSISVFsSOPPDIXoR8q_bTazRnDeBDMx51b0V_8zkl8yn3fBmqnkP24dFWST-PkWJE851F5Przs04Z4abDi1vQ_fg/s1600/chess+small.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiY1HsowHBbpChRz7PjUjsiMnMzcVGNis0eH2kiUzgY4_0dUxgSISVFsSOPPDIXoR8q_bTazRnDeBDMx51b0V_8zkl8yn3fBmqnkP24dFWST-PkWJE851F5Przs04Z4abDi1vQ_fg/s1600/chess+small.jpg" height="400" width="267" /></span></a><span style="color: #3d85c6; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">To lead ..... I really like how does that sounds especially when I think that I can . On the other hand , being lead by a different person is not the best feeling in the world , but it is totally okay ! However, it tastes bitter if you being lead by a different person who is unqualified . And what makes it smells fishy is being lead by a different person who is unqualified with you acknowledging that . Still , realizing the fact of being lead by a different person who is unqualified but not doing a thing about it , is blindness !</span><br />
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<span style="color: #3d85c6; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Who should lead ..... Me or him ? </span><br />
<span style="color: #3d85c6; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">That is what my life has been all about for the past few years ! Obviously it is my life , and I get to do what ever I want , but sometime he gets really nagging , and I get tired & feel a little dead inside . That is when I start looking for a change where I can feel alive , where I can feel high with every gush of blood through my arteries & veins ..... Its only him that I seek , it is only him who is full of warmth , energy , passion , spontaneity , indulgence , wildness , chaos ..... There , I decide stepping backward and handle him the the lead . </span><br />
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<span style="color: #3d85c6; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Sadly , that hasn't been ending well so far ! Every time he drives , we end up lost ! We end up in the middle of no where having no clue how to get out . </span><br />
<span style="color: #3d85c6; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #3d85c6; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">One word you come up with to describe his reaction to the whole situation ..... Disgusting Pettiness ! ( oh that is 2 words ) . He sees nothing beyond his shadow . He acts innocently , as if he had no hand in what happened . It is not that he is being convinced that it is not his fault ! He is totally unaware of the fact there might be any small suspicion that he is even involved in what happened ! Eccentrically he acts , as if it is all about him . Ingenuously , he looks at me as if it was my fault . And stupidly , I feel pity for him , as if it wasnt his ****ing mistake .</span><br />
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<span style="color: #3d85c6; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">At the end , I have no one else to blame other than myself for trusting him , when I knew that he cant stand in front ! Beside , even if I blame him , it will still be my fault .</span>Darhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07182639141354834402noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18777672.post-83111588302333397352013-03-11T04:00:00.002-05:002013-03-13T11:28:58.282-05:00The Knob<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1KrIvpRe3V0501NWPRk5tzAwJGQaSbmtK4rUkR923E5uin6UD3SpcYVBfqBZX3B8LU0ZFyYsOPs1dHdG-oVdjVHnBGO-RHngPn9O0FBbCGZ54tDoI9U-KiSvUaC0v8gMp1Akhvg/s1600/6d25dff9966ae8e85b9200ae590f218d.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1KrIvpRe3V0501NWPRk5tzAwJGQaSbmtK4rUkR923E5uin6UD3SpcYVBfqBZX3B8LU0ZFyYsOPs1dHdG-oVdjVHnBGO-RHngPn9O0FBbCGZ54tDoI9U-KiSvUaC0v8gMp1Akhvg/s1600/6d25dff9966ae8e85b9200ae590f218d.jpg" /></a></div>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicBjXIJZjKTler85_iODmfCXgJEJpf5EUgBW9WZ4A2cYJtag5Sy-9lygs5XGeRasFRv-Yurozoauu2YZOZHMhBG8iS1T4y_rqhGeqE0DamXOrdAXWvRlcU2QXcpL9oXYS0aaK4hQ/s1600/6d25dff9966ae8e85b9200ae590f218d.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="color: #3d85c6; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"></span></a><span style="color: #3d85c6; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Wanting something badly with all of your senses , and spotting it laying in front of you , but not moving a step forward toward it ..... Fear it is !
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<span style="color: #3d85c6; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">In our lives , plenty of time is being spent closing eyes to dream , raising palms to pray , and maybe a little more time breathing deeply to hope ..... for something to happen . Some stuff in our lives goes in cycles ; where after a long journey when we sight the finish line , we get disappointed by being pushed away from getting what we have been working for , viciously crushing our dreams , cruelly away blowing our prayers , & brutally destroying our feelings ; leaving our minds lost , our souls ripped , and our hearts scarred !</span><br />
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<span style="color: #3d85c6; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> Every single time that happens , we take a moment to gather our thoughts , strengthen our faith , & heal our scars to come out with THE one decision to start all over again . The thing that I am marveling about right now is " Till when ..... Till when I will keep having the power to go there JUST one more time and take my chance ..... "</span><br />
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<span style="color: #3d85c6; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Sometimes , we stand in front of the door grasping the knob hesitantly wondering .... " Do I really want to do this again " .... And YES , you open the door and you step in dreaming , praying , & hoping that the cycle will break this time . </span><br />
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<span style="color: #3d85c6; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> Interestingly , despite my unstoppable urge , recently , flash backs about my dreams turning into dreadful night mares , my prayers turning into a damn curse , & my hope turning into a spattered desperation ; gave fear the access to infiltrate my mind , disseminate my soul , & penetrate my heart ..... making me think twice before holding the Knob !
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<br />Darhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07182639141354834402noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18777672.post-17612415634582326762013-02-26T23:00:00.001-06:002013-02-26T23:36:14.654-06:00Please Stop snowing <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRQRtFHgM1V9uayf4QnMpHtFylwSi6OPt2mr1utDPQk5jHDBevEm5IZksJrrfilyi6fmZF7nyb0vyFlY-K9gwnxLKJe2qs439NsvqGupakhe3iN6epaTT02MNRbxTTiDdgkGyMZA/s1600/524632_449693545085252_460325430_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRQRtFHgM1V9uayf4QnMpHtFylwSi6OPt2mr1utDPQk5jHDBevEm5IZksJrrfilyi6fmZF7nyb0vyFlY-K9gwnxLKJe2qs439NsvqGupakhe3iN6epaTT02MNRbxTTiDdgkGyMZA/s320/524632_449693545085252_460325430_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">After forty seven days , I was inspired after taking a walk by all the whiteness that had covered Kansas City to write this .</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Forty seven days had passed since it last snowed in Amman . Forty seven days ago , I had spent one of the most marvelous two weeks in my life . Two weeks of mingled thoughts & emotions were barley enough to forget all the disgust feeling I had before heading there . Fourteen days , were more than enough to remember all the affectionate retentions I had before coming here . </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Amman was , is , & will always be my heaven on earth . I endued her a part of my heart , that no one can ever dispute on . During my last vacation , I had the chance to have breakfast with my dad , followed by the warmest time ever where i get to drink my hot Nescafe with my mother , talking , discussing , arguing , and sometimes fighting on anything a human mind can think of ..... I had that crazy gush of epinephrine rushing out of my adrenals to every single cell of my body after winning my brothers in PS soccer , oh god it has been a long long time since i last won ..... Catching up with friends and blowing the dust away of old memories was priceless ...... Hanging out at my favorite places and coffee shop ..... Observing people walking down the streets with their spontaneous expressions , honest feelings , & simple demeanor ( relatively speaking here ) made me take a deep breath & fill up my chest like I had never done before ..... Talking to people there felt so real ..... Oh no no no , dont make me start talking about food , otherwise this post can be too long . </span></span><br />
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I was home sick again the next morning I arrived here .
I felt so much in love there , everything would sound , taste , smell , look , and feel beautiful . </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">And now , with every single miraculous snow flake that lurch down spreading its soothing white magic , I remember being back home in Amman standing at the window watching the snow and sadly counting my last minutes before I leave ..... </span></span></div>
Darhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07182639141354834402noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18777672.post-3871314269362125582013-02-24T22:47:00.001-06:002013-02-26T23:35:09.036-06:00Blog or Not ?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">It looks that i am about to restart bogging again . By just observing the current situation that i am going through , it looks like some crazy stuff start spinning in my skull . I don't know how good or bad they will be , but its almost hitting the threshold , to start babbling again </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">I am not sure where will i start from , will it be about my the new in KC , cultural conflicts , or maybe my special favorite topic of all times , JERKS . </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Again , i am almost at the edge of a whole mind make over , about my perception of life , and its reflection on my career </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">I started to get frustrated with the idea of dependency , and what i aiming at , is not to have control over situations , and spend my time reacting rather than acting .</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Or maybe it is just my least favorite time of the whole year March-April . </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Amman ! Really ? Could it be the good times i spent there recently ! </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Being alone , could it be ? I am sure if i put money on this , it wont be a waste ! </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Maybe it is just winter ?</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Wait a second , what about this energy sucking rotation , i am doing now !! </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Not quiet sure of what i am saying up there , but i pretty sure that something should happen soon </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">I have been formulating some ideas too , about random stuff , that i would like to refer to later too</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Oh yeah , i have also been involved in some useless political discussions more frequently , that had increased my sympathetic release ! ugh !</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Anyways , maybe i have just forgot the main reason i had started writing for in the first place ! I think i did ! Wait , actually not just writing , living too ! Ouch , what have I been doing ! </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Anyways, I am not sure if i will log in here any time soon or not ! Who wants to bet !</span></span></div>
Darhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07182639141354834402noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18777672.post-22440869028047675072011-12-11T07:09:00.001-06:002013-02-13T11:04:38.071-06:00I blog therefore ...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="color: #3d85c6;"><span style="font-family: "Verdana", sans-serif;">The other day , in the middle of morning rush of rounding on patients , I was inspired by one , she sounded confused , after which I asked " Do you know what year we are in ? " , she giggled before trying to answer my question in an attempt to show how silly it was ! Shortly the moment of truth came , she started looking around to think , after a while and with a big smile on her face she replied " 1967 " . At that moment that evil me was laughing , celebrating , and screaming " in your face you old sick lady " . After getting out of the room , I stood there for a second to think of what kind of memories that lady's rusty brain was stuck at in 1967 , then it all occurred to me suddenly when I started introjecting what had just happened ! I realized I was no different ! I was totally DISORIENTED too .</span></span><span style="color: #3d85c6;"><span style="font-family: "Verdana", sans-serif;"><br />
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<span style="color: #3d85c6;"><span style="font-family: "Verdana", sans-serif;">In medicine , when we first examine patients , we start by assessing wakefulness followed by orientation . Orientation means exactly " enak te3raf wein Allah 7atak " , and consists of 3 elements ; time , place & person </span></span><span style="color: #3d85c6;"><span style="font-family: "Verdana", sans-serif;"><br />
</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #3d85c6;"><span style="font-family: "Verdana", sans-serif;">When I asked myself that question , I found myself stuck somewhere in 2008 . It all happened after graduating from medical school and finishing my internship year . I was entirely shocked with the real life , and how much work it takes me to get my career set and well established ! The goal I had at that time was to get to the states and start residency ! I decided I need to be focused on the freaking USMLE exams that can lead me to achieve my goal . And that was the time when I decided to abandon my blog and take a little break . Apparently that little break was a little bit longer than what I was expecting ! </span></span><span style="color: #3d85c6;"><span style="font-family: "Verdana", sans-serif;"><br />
</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #3d85c6;"><span style="font-family: "Verdana", sans-serif;">Simply, I blog to express , & not to impress ! Whenever I hit the " New Post " button and start typing , that is the time when I have a light bulb above my head . My blog is that quiet place that I lock myself in , to think and see clearly . </span></span><span style="color: #3d85c6;"><span style="font-family: "Verdana", sans-serif;"><br />
</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #3d85c6;"><span style="font-family: "Verdana", sans-serif;">Having that being said , obviously I was barley thinking in the past years , I have just been going with the flow and adopting the trends of others . I was putting myself in a position to take the crap of people whether I liked it or not . I was thriving , or more correctly , surviving on others' infested , filthy , lousy & nasty thought process .</span></span><span style="color: #3d85c6;"><span style="font-family: "Verdana", sans-serif;"><br />
</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #3d85c6;"><span style="font-family: "Verdana", sans-serif;">I had never been like this , I might have been for now , bs Inshallah & for sure I ll never be anymore .I have the tendency to develop or even create new music of minds !</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #3d85c6;"><span style="font-family: "Verdana", sans-serif;">Sorry Rene , allow me to rephrase , I blog therefore I think , I think therefore I am me .</span></span></div>
Darhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07182639141354834402noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18777672.post-81789566595521824182011-02-15T11:31:00.000-06:002011-02-15T11:31:16.639-06:00What happens<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfEZEs2ZukwUPp_dnho2Eh2iBVDVswT0j6Ux4KVYGlzuX9pjE493acFxyocdKDzV_0XhbG6H8YHWMU0CJvcGnVSQYxWVEp-zZuvgFi1WOvKQyDkW2Uu4sFsrH-lo71G-f4C5wlFA/s1600/Valentine.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfEZEs2ZukwUPp_dnho2Eh2iBVDVswT0j6Ux4KVYGlzuX9pjE493acFxyocdKDzV_0XhbG6H8YHWMU0CJvcGnVSQYxWVEp-zZuvgFi1WOvKQyDkW2Uu4sFsrH-lo71G-f4C5wlFA/s320/Valentine.jpg" width="240" /></a></div><br />
<span style="font-family: "Verdana", sans-serif;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">What happens when Drs are stuck at the hospital on Feb14 !</span></span></div>Darhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07182639141354834402noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18777672.post-89692000142756665492011-02-05T12:46:00.000-06:002011-02-05T12:46:37.493-06:00She said " I Like your outfit "<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2o8Y52Hic7eTAeOe-DXET0FgxONGhjCuRBpfqmAZEJcnX_hOC5UR8yATN4ZzThlnZi2kqegfufeoFX2PpxukzSk-t_HmYxsywOcDncRrAXjNK9b1jgEU9DK2hH_0FL503KidoDA/s1600/i+like.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="193" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2o8Y52Hic7eTAeOe-DXET0FgxONGhjCuRBpfqmAZEJcnX_hOC5UR8yATN4ZzThlnZi2kqegfufeoFX2PpxukzSk-t_HmYxsywOcDncRrAXjNK9b1jgEU9DK2hH_0FL503KidoDA/s320/i+like.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><span style="font-family: "Verdana", sans-serif;"><span style="color: #0b5394;">That is what a young beautiful girl said to a woman from an Asian descent wearing traditional clothes of her country in the waiting room at the O'Hare international airport , which by no means was beautiful or even anywhere close !</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Verdana", sans-serif;"><span style="color: #0b5394;">Well , with respect to all cultures all over the world , I mean no insult to any , and I do understand the various cultural backgrounds in choosing the colors and type of clothes they wear ! Anyways , this is not my point !</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Verdana", sans-serif;"><span style="color: #0b5394;">I have been raised in an environment that was exposed to the American style widely , with which my intellectual abilities had been affected ! But what that woman was wearing didn't match with any definition of beauty or even creativity . </span></span><span style="font-family: "Verdana", sans-serif;"><span style="color: #0b5394;"></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Verdana", sans-serif;"><span style="color: #0b5394;">After 5 minutes of the emerge of the great MYSTERY, where i was trying to kill the time waiting my connection flight by thinking and trying to convince myself in a way or another in what that cute blond said , when all in a sudden the Davinich code was just solved , when she asked the orange riding hood to watch her bag for 5 minutes till she gets back from the restroom , TARAAAAAAAA !</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Verdana", sans-serif;"><span style="color: #0b5394;">The art of initiating fake short conversations , making manipulative scented smiles , and creating bogus friendly atmosphere with strangers has always been MADE IN THE USA with pride ! I am not trying to sound condescending , no at all ! But what i am trying to refer to , is the importance of learning such kind of art , in order to dissolve in the community and not to find yourself precipitating at the bottom !</span></span></div>Darhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07182639141354834402noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18777672.post-41172191157939318832010-08-29T10:44:00.000-05:002013-02-13T11:00:21.008-06:00My Crayons ! <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="color: #3d85c6;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">After more than a week of trying to post this ! Finally , I have just been inspired to press the " Publish Post " !<br /><br />Looking deep in my heart , seeing the scar of an old healed wound , flashback in my head nothing other than the sum of all the memories and events that were tightly bound to how it ended injuring my heart ! It aroused my sleeping feelings of hatred , disgust , & grudge !<br /><br />Anyways , two questions kept spinning in my head after what happened , for which I can IMAGINE no answers ! Probably because I never thought that such things could exist to provoke one's mind to wonder about !<br />The first is How can someone renege on a promise he took on himself ? & the other one is How can someone not have enough guts to uncover what is going on his mind , and prefer to avoid facing other with reality ?<br /><br />Wearing the innocence of a child smile , walking with vicious kindness , promoting hypocritical loyalty , prided with artificial nobility , and deceiving people with fake honesty , were all discovered long after encountering the stealthy hit , when incidentally my heart was seen bleeding inside !<br /><br /><br />This kind of people think they are smart , but in fact you will realize their true nature of selfishness , arrogance , & near sighted vision , that sees no further than their noses , with only one image that shows on their mirrors which is a false bright reflection of their self-delusions , that mislead them to believe that they are the only creatures living in this world , and if any others existed , they are nothing other than worthless bugs , to whom the right of crushing is theirs any time they feel like it !<br /><br /><br />Long story short , it is like living peacefully on an island in a world of your imagination , having everything you need , and satisfied with everything you got , and suddenly , out of no where , they pass by like ghosts leaving you with gray crayons after promising you a box full of colored ones if you give up yours ! Once done , they never existed !</span></span></div>
Darhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07182639141354834402noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18777672.post-52834579322063921782010-08-19T17:18:00.000-05:002010-08-19T17:18:05.444-05:00The Decisions I didn't Make !<span style="font-family: "Verdana", sans-serif;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;"><span style="font-size: small;">Still feeling dizzy fifteen minutes after waking up , and feeling so blessed with so much inner peace after being done with yesterday , I decided to do one little thing that I used to enjoy ..... </span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Verdana", sans-serif;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;"><span style="font-size: small;">F</span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Verdana", sans-serif;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;"><span style="font-size: small;">or the past year </span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Verdana", sans-serif;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;"><span style="font-size: small;">I have been imagining myself in war ...... war movies , cavalry charge , combat scenes , war drums , chanting songs ... thats what you ll find in my YouTube history page. </span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana", sans-serif;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;"><span style="font-size: small;">I can say it has been exactly 10 months and 18 days since I had decided to do something in my life to make me feel that I am the one in charge AGAIN ! After a long era of injustice , iniquity , and immorality that was declared by the moment of starting med school , it is now , and only now when the darkness of that time will fade with the sunshine of my new reign . </span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana", sans-serif;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;"><span style="font-size: small;">After graduating med school , or even through the whole years of being there , It felt like I lack control over my decisions , but that wasn't realized till recently ! My mind got screwed , it was brain washed , once you decide to get into med shit , they are going to inject you with anti-self antibodies that will resist and destroy any idea or thought that has to do with expressing yourself ! It will interrupt any neuronal signal that wants to get past the the process of thinking ....... the decision making center in your brain will end up shrunken & atrophied ! Its like a FRONTAL CORTEX ablation . </span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Verdana", sans-serif;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;"><span style="font-size: small;">It will detract you the ability to take decisions , regarding things you enjoy or want other than "being a doctor " ........ Med school Med school , if I blog daily for a </span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Verdana", sans-serif;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;"><span style="font-size: small;">whole ( 6 years ) to describe how badly it had affected me on the personal level and on how much suffering & hatred it grew in me , it wont be enough ....... </span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Verdana", sans-serif;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;"><span style="font-size: small;">Anyways , that was not even my point , the thing that I want to mention , that during the past years , my thought process was not going well ..... at least for most of the time . I took some bad decisions which I really don't regret at all ! But what sticks in my throat are the decisions that i didn't make ! </span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana", sans-serif;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;"><span style="font-size: small;">Having the ability to make decisions gives you inner peace , it puts you in a position to anticipate the consequences physically and mentally , regardless what were the results . On the other hand , which I wish that I can cut , when you pay the price of decisions that were taken on your behalf , and for which later on you will be known , will put you in a state of instability and self-doubting about every aspect of life. </span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana", sans-serif;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;"><span style="font-size: small;">Its not that you are forced to do things ..... Well , do u know ..... I would rather want it to be that way , at least I will still be able to enjoy being myself , and I will still have my will , even if it wasn't a free one ! The worst part of the story comes when you don't know who is taking the decisions , and why they are being made , and then you reach a level where you will loose the ability</span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Verdana", sans-serif;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;"><span style="font-size: small;"> to make one , or maybe you will even forget that once in the past you were able to do such a thing.</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana", sans-serif;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;"><span style="font-size: small;">Last year , was the time </span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Verdana", sans-serif;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;"><span style="font-size: small;">big decisions were made , it was last year </span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Verdana", sans-serif;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;"><span style="font-size: small;">when I took my decision to start taking decisions again . Anyways , and r</span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Verdana", sans-serif;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;"><span style="font-size: small;">egardless of what I will be harvesting later , I am sure that 10 years from now , I will be proud of myself for taking back what was originally mine .......</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Verdana", sans-serif;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;"></span></span>Darhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07182639141354834402noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18777672.post-34687503898228402532010-02-22T11:37:00.000-06:002010-02-22T11:37:00.056-06:00When no words can do<div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: #3d85c6;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Just before going to sleep</span></span></span></span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: #3d85c6;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;"> </span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: #3d85c6;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">, I went to look outside the window to check a sound I had heard, but I realized later that it was only the smell of cold carried by wind mixing the green color of grass with the purity of dew drops knocking on the window . This specific combination of stimuli with the feelings I was having a minute before , it all reminded me of something that happened to me in the recent past and gave me no choice other than turning </span></span></span></span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: #3d85c6;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;"> </span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: #3d85c6;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">the table-lamp on , grabbing my laptop and opening </span></span></span></span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: #3d85c6;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;"> </span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: #3d85c6;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">my blog ….</span></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: #3d85c6;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;"> </span></span></span></span><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: #3d85c6;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Sometimes we give people nicknames , that is usually related to a character , attitude , behavior , or maybe a smile that they have ...... But some other times - which are usually phenomenal and exceptional - the glamour , </span></span></span></span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: #3d85c6;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;"> </span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: #3d85c6;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">gorgeousness , and unusual magical powers that some people puff into our soul exceeds the capabilities of human mind to think of or imagine ! They despoil us the ability to comprehend and express the collection of emotions and feelings that storms into our mind to come up with something decent that MIGHT BARELY stand at some of what they truly mean to us ! We just stand there paralyzed , being unable to move a nerve , staring our eyes , having our mind blocking every other impulse that wants to get through …. </span></span></span></span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: #3d85c6;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;"> </span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: #3d85c6;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">and end up embarrassing </span></span></span></span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: #3d85c6;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;"> </span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: #3d85c6;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">ourselves trying to be thoughtful in finding special words !</span></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: #3d85c6;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;"> </span></span></span></span><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: #3d85c6;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">This kind of people are not found there in life by default ! Unless they are standing at an end of a cliff to detour you from the way you have been mistakenly walking through , they wont be as such ! Those are the ones that you find them at the turning point of your life .</span></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: #3d85c6;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;"> </span></span></span></span><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: #3d85c6;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Sometimes , while going through life , we get hit , scratched , or maybe beaten </span></span></span></span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: #3d85c6;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;"> </span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: #3d85c6;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">by the so many conflicts we go through , where we will end up with so much damage and no more energy or hope to keep going , and start drowning ! But at that time when that someone that you never realized how much care he has for you , grabs you out of water and slaps you to wake you up ; you realize how in need you are for them to change your path ! And with the first breath you take and the first sight your eyes fall on you see sparkling eyes to sink in again , an extended hand to hold , a solid shoulder to lean on , and a warm heart to give you all the energy & hope you had lost , to find the right path and start a new journey .</span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: #3d85c6;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;"></span></span></span></span></span></div><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: #3d85c6;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;"> </span></span></span></span><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: #3d85c6;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;"> </span></span></span></span><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="AR-SA" style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: #3d85c6;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Inspired by A.Q</span></span></span></span></span></div><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: #3d85c6;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;"></span></span></span></span>Darhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07182639141354834402noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18777672.post-3123092890244786932010-02-14T19:28:00.000-06:002010-02-14T19:28:05.178-06:00Insomnia<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">One of the worst thing i have been going through lately is that when you take sleeping pills and you still you cant sleep ! And much more worse of that , is when the pill kicks in just before you are supposed to wake up by an hour or so ! </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Lately I started to have a very bad sleeping habits ! I cant sleep at night , and still i cant sleep during the day , and if i do so , its like only for 3 hours . Any small little noise can just wake me up , and I stay in bed for hours trying to go back to sleep with no benefit ! It ends up with me to wake up with my eyelids are still coving half of my eyes , walking in a stooped posture , laking power , activity , and concentration ! I have screwed lots of things around me with my low mood and inability to concentrate and think right . </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Taking hot showers , sleeping pills , drinking milk , avoiding any caffeine containing beverages , avoiding any stimulating activities during the night , none of these have worked , neither did counting sheep , i swear to god i have tried it ! </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Whatever !</span></span>Darhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07182639141354834402noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18777672.post-18470472866598857552010-02-12T17:21:00.001-06:002010-02-12T17:28:19.613-06:00Once upon a time<div class="separator" style="clear: both; color: #3d85c6; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxfy8NYxH0hBuZ8KRI3Yks1vWre3UQlZa_47Bpc2llOQw-tBtqvDZrglGVD0_MNpFe3HxOgiG_heFy2JOkgPhsEv99K3YCAt3ninepJGEFwzrOLH_pJ2VIf3uOTDbM2TmD6Jpwrw/s1600-h/Jordania.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxfy8NYxH0hBuZ8KRI3Yks1vWre3UQlZa_47Bpc2llOQw-tBtqvDZrglGVD0_MNpFe3HxOgiG_heFy2JOkgPhsEv99K3YCAt3ninepJGEFwzrOLH_pJ2VIf3uOTDbM2TmD6Jpwrw/s320/Jordania.jpg" /></a></div><div style="color: #3d85c6; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #3d85c6; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">I have those memories categorized under my special secetion ....</div>Darhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07182639141354834402noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18777672.post-2844226129947283242010-01-10T20:06:00.000-06:002010-01-10T20:06:11.016-06:00One Day ...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgwXE34D-XKW92z-Fx_VZVZ2rk5Sb3lb4wY5lw01TRieh35__mz6iMW0FoVQZVzOY8B9v6GkuE2iFCPIchok92AbwpjWMhpNF6RHj7cPJeEeN5JC33zkOUXf21hOQT8Oxli88M1Q/s1600-h/kill.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgwXE34D-XKW92z-Fx_VZVZ2rk5Sb3lb4wY5lw01TRieh35__mz6iMW0FoVQZVzOY8B9v6GkuE2iFCPIchok92AbwpjWMhpNF6RHj7cPJeEeN5JC33zkOUXf21hOQT8Oxli88M1Q/s320/kill.jpg" /></a><br />
</div>Darhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07182639141354834402noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18777672.post-86445753005175109972009-12-16T16:44:00.001-06:002009-12-16T18:52:32.411-06:00Fate ! Making Fun of Us !<div style="color: #3d85c6; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">When a friend opens your laptop to check his email , and accidentally found you logged into your facebook account , and he thinks of messing up with you and start adding people randomly ...<br />
</div><div style="color: #3d85c6; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #3d85c6; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">When you have plenty of time to know someone and intensify your relation with , and he has no interest ; but when less than 2 months is all what was lift for him in the country , he suddenly realizes how much of an interesting person you are !<br />
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</div><div style="color: #3d85c6; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #3d85c6; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">When both of you at one moment in the past wanted to tell each other of how much time & effort each one of you consumes of the other's thoughts each day , and some stupid signs tie both of your tongues, but at one moment of wildness and craziness in the future , you feel free to shout it loud ! <br />
</div><div style="color: #3d85c6; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #3d85c6; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">When you work hard to impress someone and keep coming up with ideas to be with him , and none of this work , but tapped pieces of an old torn paper that you collected - without knowing why - from the garbage and kept in your drawer for years - not welling to throw away each time you clean - is what makes tears run down his cheeks !<br />
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</div><div style="color: #3d85c6; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #3d85c6; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">And maybe when you know each others for a long time , but only after years it turns out that you are meant to be together !<br />
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</div>Darhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07182639141354834402noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18777672.post-19692723121589427762009-12-14T16:47:00.000-06:002009-12-14T16:47:37.661-06:00Amman<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtMi1MtRQE_eDifFQ-HbUdUh3OEIlkzFiG4kMiyvYJuFoBqBEFqTp7j8i3wP_BdjiUWekvGWg8stV9nAVksNIcnl1K8Wq6fkQ8vMINT_X_rG7jfYGqZztiqznhS-zq8HUM9eOnEg/s1600-h/amman+ski+line.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtMi1MtRQE_eDifFQ-HbUdUh3OEIlkzFiG4kMiyvYJuFoBqBEFqTp7j8i3wP_BdjiUWekvGWg8stV9nAVksNIcnl1K8Wq6fkQ8vMINT_X_rG7jfYGqZztiqznhS-zq8HUM9eOnEg/s320/amman+ski+line.jpg" /></a><br />
</div>Darhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07182639141354834402noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18777672.post-10700448276278847742009-11-08T07:29:00.000-06:002009-11-08T07:29:46.521-06:00Establishment<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLvlR_525qJjq5Hd2BzQtGmVSjbPYNMQkR-aCCAtob04f5o4-mdOfzz5STr3ZmKyXDZr_hWkNITHev_0bt5uh_Orf1uKPG-LEoFU_LM0dzqaRwLEe1wgtDf9MXk4u8m8rj7rlKlg/s1600-h/Tubes.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLvlR_525qJjq5Hd2BzQtGmVSjbPYNMQkR-aCCAtob04f5o4-mdOfzz5STr3ZmKyXDZr_hWkNITHev_0bt5uh_Orf1uKPG-LEoFU_LM0dzqaRwLEe1wgtDf9MXk4u8m8rj7rlKlg/s400/Tubes.jpg" /></a><br />
</div>Darhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07182639141354834402noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18777672.post-12110815488641319612009-11-05T18:14:00.000-06:002009-11-05T18:14:17.317-06:00I ♥ Estrogen<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRhbQIsKVNICf0GHg_CdOUB2647HuNEzDgREU22-WlkRsRutZrz6eUH_BAs4-S2PyKP8g23EhQ87LzMQIhAJGu1lwb5BQ2jaG0JUus0r7GiooDKGw3v18mnu8YS7cWNdMdlUOZuw/s1600-h/Estrogen.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRhbQIsKVNICf0GHg_CdOUB2647HuNEzDgREU22-WlkRsRutZrz6eUH_BAs4-S2PyKP8g23EhQ87LzMQIhAJGu1lwb5BQ2jaG0JUus0r7GiooDKGw3v18mnu8YS7cWNdMdlUOZuw/s320/Estrogen.jpg" /></a><br />
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<div style="color: #3d85c6; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken<br />
</div><div style="color: #3d85c6; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">No offense ladies !<br />
</div>Darhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07182639141354834402noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18777672.post-6399246755615978712009-11-04T10:34:00.000-06:002009-11-04T10:34:40.097-06:00The Sin !<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdSjP1v71sIA83a7gL7aMTHLY_I2Hk0V7TRrlLl9sr0Iy2pB7tSusY3dwD5LpJoR7EWnaTi9E421CYOcXiNieB2oPY5Q6NdLbmQsDwCyTZOCECLoJS08JkYpkzkZUXdg3OTwM5lg/s1600-h/asd1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdSjP1v71sIA83a7gL7aMTHLY_I2Hk0V7TRrlLl9sr0Iy2pB7tSusY3dwD5LpJoR7EWnaTi9E421CYOcXiNieB2oPY5Q6NdLbmQsDwCyTZOCECLoJS08JkYpkzkZUXdg3OTwM5lg/s400/asd1.jpg" /></a><br />
</div>Darhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07182639141354834402noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18777672.post-78977997494316929742009-11-03T09:33:00.000-06:002009-11-03T09:33:21.854-06:00The way nature speaks our stupidity<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZ_m4eGW_96JWOsbDFDwJ_VdCP-dswj7CokvmXFOCy0w4pEpKVmzQqF9yQgOdhO8-F6GpN-lvlOKGeCKoJ4EPYKwDTjFmOq9WiDGdhenNXvxn6gUgOH2ba3G1GbwGGGki11nK5pQ/s1600-h/Cake+%2B+cup.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZ_m4eGW_96JWOsbDFDwJ_VdCP-dswj7CokvmXFOCy0w4pEpKVmzQqF9yQgOdhO8-F6GpN-lvlOKGeCKoJ4EPYKwDTjFmOq9WiDGdhenNXvxn6gUgOH2ba3G1GbwGGGki11nK5pQ/s400/Cake+%2B+cup.jpg" /></a><br />
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<span style="font-family: georgia,bookman old style,palatino linotype,book antiqua,palatino,trebuchet ms,helvetica,garamond,sans-serif,arial,verdana,avante garde,century gothic,comic sans ms,times,times new roman,serif;"><span style="color: #3d85c6; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Winter is the season in which people try to keep the house as warm as it was in the summer, when they complained about the heat. </span><br />
</span>Darhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07182639141354834402noreply@blogger.com1