My Crazy Life

I blog therefore ...

2011-12-11T15:09:00.001+02:00

The other day , in the middle of morning rush of rounding on patients , I was inspired by one , she sounded confused , after which I asked " Do you know what year we are in ? " , she giggled before trying to answer my question in an attempt to show how silly it was ! Shortly the moment of truth came , she started looking around to think , after a while and with a big smile on her face she replied " 1967 " . At that moment that evil me was laughing , celebrating , and screaming " in your face you old sick lady " . After getting out of the room , I stood there for a second to think of what kind of memories that lady's rusty brain was stuck at in 1967 , then it all occurred to me suddenly when I started introjecting what had just happened ! I realized I was no different ! I was totally DISORIENTED too .

In medicine , when we first examine patients , we start by assessing wakefulness followed by orientation . Orientation means exactly " enak te3raf wein Allah 7atak " , and consists of 3 elements ; time , place & person

When I asked myself that question , I found myself stuck somewhere in 2008 . It all happened after graduating from medical school and finishing my internship year . I was entirely shocked with the real life , and how much work it takes me to get my career set and well established ! The goal I had at that time was to get to the states and start residency ! I decided I need to be focused on the freaking USMLE exams that can lead me to achieve my goal . And that was the time when I decided to abandon my blog and take a little break . Apparently that little break was a little bit longer than what I was expecting !

Simply, I blog to express , & not to impress ! Whenever I hit the " New Post " button and start typing , that is the time when I have a light bulb above my head . My blog is that quiet place that I lock myself in , to think and see clearly .

Having that being said , obviously I was barley thinking in the past years , I have just been going with the flow and adopting the trends of others . I was putting myself in a position to take the crap of people whether I liked it or not . I was thriving , or more correctly , surviving on others' infested , filthy , lousy & nasty thought process .

I had never been like this , I might have been for now , bs Inshallah & for sure I ll never be anymore .I have the tendency to develop or even create new music of minds !
Sorry Rene , allow me to rephrase , I blog therefore I think , I think therefore I am me .

What happens

2011-02-15T19:31:00.000+02:00

What happens when Drs are stuck at the hospital on Feb14 !

She said " I Like your outfit "

2011-02-05T20:46:00.000+02:00

That is what a young beautiful girl said to a woman from an Asian descent wearing traditional clothes of her country in the waiting room at the O'Hare international airport , which by no means was beautiful or even anywhere close !
Well , with respect to all cultures all over the world , I mean no insult to any , and I do understand the various cultural backgrounds in choosing the colors and type of clothes they wear ! Anyways , this is not my point !
I have been raised in an environment that was exposed to the American style widely , with which my intellectual abilities had been affected ! But what that woman was wearing didn't match with any definition of beauty or even creativity .
After 5 minutes of the emerge of the great MYSTERY, where i was trying to kill the time waiting my connection flight by thinking and trying to convince myself in a way or another in what that cute blond said , when all in a sudden the Davinich code was just solved , when she asked the orange riding hood to watch her bag for 5 minutes till she gets back from the restroom , TARAAAAAAAA !
The art of initiating fake short conversations , making manipulative scented smiles , and creating bogus friendly atmosphere with strangers has always been MADE IN THE USA with pride ! I am not trying to sound condescending , no at all ! But what i am trying to refer to , is the importance of learning such kind of art , in order to dissolve in the community and not to find yourself precipitating at the bottom !

My Crayons

2010-08-29T03:05:00.001+03:00

Finally , after more than a week of trying to post this ! I have just been inspired to press the " Publish Post " button !

Looking deep in my heart , seeing the scar of an old healed wound , flashback in my head nothing other than the sum of all the memories and events that were tightly bound to how it ended injuring my heart ! It aroused my sleeping feelings of hatred , disgust , & grudge !

Anyways , two questions kept spinning in my head after what happened , for which I can IMAGINE no answers ! Probably because I never thought that such things could exist to provoke one's mind to wonder about !
The first is How can someone renege on a promise he took on himself ? & the other one is How can someone not have enough guts to uncover what is going on his mind , and prefer to avoid facing other with reality ?

Wearing the innocence of a child smile , walking with vicious kindness , promoting hypocritical loyalty , prided with artificial nobility , and deceiving people with fake honesty , were all discovered long after encountering the stealthy hit , when incidentally my heart was seen bleeding inside !

This kind of people think they are smart , but in fact you will realize their true nature of selfishness , arrogance , & near sighted vision , that sees no further than their noses , with only one image that shows on their mirrors which is a false bright reflection of their self-delusions , that mislead them to believe that they are the only creatures living in this world , and if any others existed , they are nothing other than worthless bugs , to whom the right of crushing is theirs any time they feel like it !

Long story short , it is like living peacefully on an island in a world of your imagination , having everything you need , and satisfied with everything you got , and suddenly , out of no where , they pass by like ghosts leaving you with gray crayons after promising you a box full of colored ones if you give up yours ! Once done , they never existed !

The Decisions I didn't Make !

2010-08-20T01:18:00.000+03:00

Still feeling dizzy fifteen minutes after waking up , and feeling so blessed with so much inner peace after being done with yesterday , I decided to do one little thing that I used to enjoy .....

For the past year I have been imagining myself in war ...... war movies , cavalry charge , combat scenes , war drums , chanting songs ... thats what you ll find in my YouTube history page.

I can say it has been exactly 10 months and 18 days since I had decided to do something in my life to make me feel that I am the one in charge AGAIN ! After a long era of injustice , iniquity , and immorality that was declared by the moment of starting med school , it is now , and only now when the darkness of that time will fade with the sunshine of my new reign .

After graduating med school , or even through the whole years of being there , It felt like I lack control over my decisions , but that wasn't realized till recently ! My mind got screwed , it was brain washed , once you decide to get into med shit , they are going to inject you with anti-self antibodies that will resist and destroy any idea or thought that has to do with expressing yourself ! It will interrupt any neuronal signal that wants to get past the the process of thinking ....... the decision making center in your brain will end up shrunken & atrophied ! Its like a FRONTAL CORTEX ablation . It will detract you the ability to take decisions , regarding things you enjoy or want other than "being a doctor " ........ Med school Med school , if I blog daily for a whole ( 6 years ) to describe how badly it had affected me on the personal level and on how much suffering & hatred it grew in me , it wont be enough .......
Anyways , that was not even my point , the thing that I want to mention , that during the past years , my thought process was not going well ..... at least for most of the time . I took some bad decisions which I really don't regret at all ! But what sticks in my throat are the decisions that i didn't make !

Having the ability to make decisions gives you inner peace , it puts you in a position to anticipate the consequences physically and mentally , regardless what were the results . On the other hand , which I wish that I can cut , when you pay the price of decisions that were taken on your behalf , and for which later on you will be known , will put you in a state of instability and self-doubting about every aspect of life.

Its not that you are forced to do things ..... Well , do u know ..... I would rather want it to be that way , at least I will still be able to enjoy being myself , and I will still have my will , even if it wasn't a free one ! The worst part of the story comes when you don't know who is taking the decisions , and why they are being made , and then you reach a level where you will loose the ability to make one , or maybe you will even forget that once in the past you were able to do such a thing.

Last year , was the time big decisions were made , it was last year when I took my decision to start taking decisions again . Anyways , and regardless of what I will be harvesting later , I am sure that 10 years from now , I will be proud of myself for taking back what was originally mine .......

When no words can do

2010-02-22T19:37:00.000+02:00

Just before going to sleep , I went to look outside the window to check a sound I had heard, but I realized later that it was only the smell of cold carried by wind mixing the green color of grass with the purity of dew drops knocking on the window . This specific combination of stimuli with the feelings I was having a minute before , it all reminded me of something that happened to me in the recent past and gave me no choice other than turning the table-lamp on , grabbing my laptop and opening my blog ….

Sometimes we give people nicknames , that is usually related to a character , attitude , behavior , or maybe a smile that they have ...... But some other times - which are usually phenomenal and exceptional - the glamour , gorgeousness , and unusual magical powers that some people puff into our soul exceeds the capabilities of human mind to think of or imagine ! They despoil us the ability to comprehend and express the collection of emotions and feelings that storms into our mind to come up with something decent that MIGHT BARELY stand at some of what they truly mean to us ! We just stand there paralyzed , being unable to move a nerve , staring our eyes , having our mind blocking every other impulse that wants to get through …. and end up embarrassing ourselves trying to be thoughtful in finding special words !

This kind of people are not found there in life by default ! Unless they are standing at an end of a cliff to detour you from the way you have been mistakenly walking through , they wont be as such ! Those are the ones that you find them at the turning point of your life .

Sometimes , while going through life , we get hit , scratched , or maybe beaten by the so many conflicts we go through , where we will end up with so much damage and no more energy or hope to keep going , and start drowning ! But at that time when that someone that you never realized how much care he has for you , grabs you out of water and slaps you to wake you up ; you realize how in need you are for them to change your path ! And with the first breath you take and the first sight your eyes fall on you see sparkling eyes to sink in again , an extended hand to hold , a solid shoulder to lean on , and a warm heart to give you all the energy & hope you had lost , to find the right path and start a new journey .

Inspired by A.Q

Insomnia

2010-02-15T03:28:00.000+02:00

One of the worst thing i have been going through lately is that when you take sleeping pills and you still you cant sleep ! And much more worse of that , is when the pill kicks in just before you are supposed to wake up by an hour or so !

Lately I started to have a very bad sleeping habits ! I cant sleep at night , and still i cant sleep during the day , and if i do so , its like only for 3 hours . Any small little noise can just wake me up , and I stay in bed for hours trying to go back to sleep with no benefit ! It ends up with me to wake up with my eyelids are still coving half of my eyes , walking in a stooped posture , laking power , activity , and concentration ! I have screwed lots of things around me with my low mood and inability to concentrate and think right .

Taking hot showers , sleeping pills , drinking milk , avoiding any caffeine containing beverages , avoiding any stimulating activities during the night , none of these have worked , neither did counting sheep , i swear to god i have tried it !

Whatever !

Once upon a time

2010-02-13T01:21:00.001+02:00

I have those memories categorized under my special secetion ....

One Day ...

2010-01-11T04:06:00.000+02:00

Fate ! Making Fun of Us !

2009-12-17T00:44:00.001+02:00

When a friend opens your laptop to check his email , and accidentally found you logged into your facebook account , and he thinks of messing up with you and start adding people randomly ...

When you have plenty of time to know someone and intensify your relation with , and he has no interest ; but when less than 2 months is all what was lift for him in the country , he suddenly realizes how much of an interesting person you are !

When both of you at one moment in the past wanted to tell each other of how much time & effort each one of you consumes of the other's thoughts each day , and some stupid signs tie both of your tongues, but at one moment of wildness and craziness in the future , you feel free to shout it loud !

When you work hard to impress someone and keep coming up with ideas to be with him , and none of this work , but tapped pieces of an old torn paper that you collected - without knowing why - from the garbage and kept in your drawer for years - not welling to throw away each time you clean - is what makes tears run down his cheeks !

And maybe when you know each others for a long time , but only after years it turns out that you are meant to be together !

Amman

2009-12-15T00:47:00.000+02:00

Establishment

2009-11-08T15:29:00.000+02:00

I ♥ Estrogen

2009-11-06T02:14:00.000+02:00

They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken

No offense ladies !

The Sin !

2009-11-04T18:34:00.000+02:00

The way nature speaks our stupidity

2009-11-03T17:33:00.000+02:00

Winter is the season in which people try to keep the house as warm as it was in the summer, when they complained about the heat.

2009-11-03T02:37:00.000+02:00

People = Shit / Part 1

2009-09-04T15:10:00.005+03:00

One of the irritating things about people , the way they act everytime they got accused for something wrong they do ! Instead of feeling guilty , admit doing a mistake , and trying to fix what they did ....... They can stare at you for hours to make you burn into ashes & make you feel guilty yourself ; assuming they have the right to accuse you for accusing them for pointing their mistakes justifying that with a silly reason , that adds nothing other than more stupidity to their whole situation !

The thing is that , most of the time we try to tell someone's mistakes , we do so from a caring point of view and for being involved in that person's life , but how disappointing it turns to be when we discover that they are nothing more than shit !

There is touch receptors in your mouth people

2009-09-04T02:40:00.001+03:00

When it comes to food , I rank first in criticizing and nagging ; I knock on every issue related to it , the way it looks , the taste , the SMELL , the inter-mixture , how much extra something it needs , the viscosity , the hotness , the appetizers surrounding it , the plate its placed on , the combination of colors , ........ I can be really irritating , and sometimes i feel pity for my mom for being such an idiot !

Anyways , after a little quarrel about fatoosh , and how the toasted bread should be added just 5-10 minutes before the athan ; I was inspired to write this post !

One more thing to be added to the list above is the feeling of food , the way it meets yr lips , the way it is cut , the way it touches your tongue , the way it is crushed between your teeth , the way it is squeezed against your palate ........... There is touch receptors in your mouth people , enjoy them !

In the world of food , people differentiate between 2 terms , taste which is detected by tongue only , whereas flavor needs both tongue and nose .... But I think a third term should be introduced including the smell , taste , & touch to give the good food the right expression ;)

Warm up

2009-09-02T06:02:00.005+03:00

Purity

2009-06-07T23:59:00.001+03:00

Diamonds and coal , what a contradiction , but they are both made of the same one element that occupies the 6th place in the periodic table , its considered to be one of the most abundant element in the whole universe , Carbon it is . However , it is all due to simple laws of physics that make the huge difference between the two compounds , and it is why one is priceless and the other is worthless , it is why we like to posses one and repel the other , its why we cherish the sparkling of one and depreciate the incineration of the other . Thus , no one consider himself unlucky for having a diamond , and no one consider himself lucky for having a piece of charcoal .

This contradiction exists in the same manner between humans . Just by looking around , you will find yourself surrounded by lots of people , most of them doesn’t deserve any time to be wasted on , but few – and only few - are precious and worth fighting for , those are the diamonds we should be searching & treasuring !

Despite my lust and crave for diamonds , I have reached a phase where I couldn’t care less for collecting more to add to my treasure box , although I have not so many . In one stage of life , it starts to get difficult to make new friends , at which we have a list of different concerns and interests in which bothering to establish new friendships is not listed ! Whether it was fate or luck , no matter which , some times we are blessed with diamonds that fall from the sky just right into our treasure box , thats for which we should be thankful and grateful !

Some people are real diamonds ! They are pure & sparkling ; spreading their charm everywhere , adding new meanings of joy , changing the definition of tedious moments , coloring the smiles on our faces , shining with their brightness our path , & planting hope into our souls .
Feeling lucky for having a pure diamond added to my collection !

Inspired by T.Z.

The Spark

2009-03-21T00:49:00.001+02:00

Can we blame the person who lit the spark !
Everyone has his own problems that keep him awake all night thinking , and keep him away from functioning properly with others .

But if we just rewind the whole scenario of events that led to this shity situation , usually we find a very tiny small thing that if was avoided from the very first beginning could have saved us excessive neuronal firing in our limbic system !

However ; once we get there , we will either start bewailing & regretting fate that opened the door for that offender to sneak into our lives , or we will start condoling and convincing ourselves that it wasn't worth all the mess from the start .

That trivial event represents a spark , which is all what is needed for a chain of reactions to take place leading to a major life event .

But logically speaking , we might start wondering if we are justified to put all of our rage and blame that event ! Is it really the spark ? Or maybe its just fate that created & provided all the needed surrounding factors and arranged it perfectly to be there in the same time and exact place for a certain thing to happen ! Or is it us , who decide to respond in a way and behave in such a manner that contributes to the final event .

Well , what I am really sure of is that sometimes we are forced to get into a train , where we can't stop or get off until it reaches its final station . In such scenarios we don’t have much to do or say , and its going to be totally foolish to blame the person who built the railroad , but the person who pushed you to get in ...... Mmmmm , maybe you want to reconsider the whole thing from there !

People = Shit

2009-02-23T01:35:00.003+02:00

The new series
Coming soon

Anesthetics

2008-12-14T22:58:00.002+02:00

In medicine we learned to treat causes not symptoms , and this what makes the difference between a good & a bad doctor , but sometimes we are impelled to deal with the symptoms first , either to gain more time with a nagging patient till we reach a diagnosis , or to relieve the patient’s annoying complain which in the first place is part of the management!

But what would incompetent doctors do , is starting to treat the symptoms without trying to relate them to a cause that would provide a good explanation for what is going around ; in order to target the management toward the underlying cause!

Sometimes in real life we - ourselves - are incompetent doctors ! Bing a human being living on earth , you will be having an extreme continuous susceptibility to find yourself in the middle of trouble . And by our nature , an urge to dismiss yourself from such situations rises , to reach a stress-free life.

Our ways to attain this goal differ according to the situation ,the size of the problem , & our competency . Some would be targeted directly against the cause , which would terminate the whole process forever , others are considered to be half solutions . Some other trials are not even solutions , they are just some ....... anesthetics ! Anesthetics that are used to numb our feelings , and as soon as its duration of action falls , you will start complaining and feeling the pain once more again , because you had never reached the cause of pain.

In life we always do that , we always lean on people who could get us joy , maybe by them just being around , and we do that to escape our fears , to detour away from our problems …….. or maybe to numb our feelings.

But the biggest disappointment & the time when it hurts the most , is the time when you reach to your anesthetics and you find NONE.

Coldness

2008-11-09T23:01:00.003+02:00

Either a 100% or its a Failure

2008-06-22T14:14:00.000+03:00

Inspired by the Fun Day at the SOS yesterday

I know myself to be hardly satisfied and pleased in so many ways , and I have this general rule to judge myself , before applying it to people . Actually I don't care much about judging people , and if I do so , I like my opinion to be heard and listened to , and to be recognized as an advice not as criticism to point out someone's mistakes and thats it !

Back to the rule , it says " Its either a 100% success or its a failure " Well , I know perfection is impossible here on earth , so I ll be ok with a 90% .

Its difficult to have a single scale to measure success with , since everyone would have his own definition ; for me I like to be harsh on myself and take the bumpy way in judging my work , behavior , attitude , & personality . I like my work to be mistake-free , although it is some how impossible ! And it is like never going to happen , since I am too human .

Anyways , to be honest with you , I get annoyed and stung deep in the heart when someone starts pointing out my mistakes , not that I take things personally , but because I missed again , I screwed up again , or lets say I FAILED again . A mistake making more than 10% for me is a TOTAL FAILURE .

Despite the hassle and the bothersome feeling I ll be in , I get excited , agitated , and even turned on to listen to my mistakes and to know where did I screw up . And to the records , I consider this to be my best part , because I believe its the key for perfection . The reason for that , that I start looking to the future , imagining myself in the same situation again , trying to come up with ideas to avoid doing these mistakes again , to reach perfection / success , and live happily ever after , H3 !

Echo

2008-06-16T16:22:00.002+03:00

I could save myself lots of trouble , if I could just listen to myself !

The problem is that you could have the ability to give advices , look at things from different angles , and offer lots of help to others ; but when it comes to yourself , your situation & problems , you stand there incapable of giving yourself the right advice , or even you cant think about he whole issue in a proper way ! Still , the worst happens when you cant just REPEAT what you used to say to others !

The Pioneer

2008-05-26T22:04:00.004+03:00

Last Sunday , at around 6:00 PM , was declared the first day of a new era for the Naji's , the beginning of a new generation started when my brother - and all of us - were blessed with a cute little angel .

Iman the pioneer , the name that she will be called for the rest of her life !
Allah ye7meeha ya rab o ybarek feeha :)

With No Respect

2008-05-17T15:00:00.000+03:00

Recently , doctors demand patients who seek medical help to show some respect ! But the big contrary is to ask people to show some respect when your " administrators " show nothing but contempt & discourtesy !

Standing behind the " triage " counter talking to a patient , I was hearing someone screaming somewhere among the people standing around , I really didn't bother , because i was already swamped ! I went to examine a patient , when the mad guy stood in front of me and started screaming

Mad guy : Who is in charge here
Cool guy (ME) : Dr Iman is
Mad guy : where is she ?
Cool guy (ME again) : she have just gone out , what is your problem ?
Mad guy : This patient went in and out and no body saw her !!! ...... And who are you ?
Cool guy (ME) : I am dr Dar , an intern
Mad guy " Be kol waq7a " in a way full of arrogance , he hold my badge to look at it , " o raja3ha be tareeqa awqa7 " and return it back in way full of disgust !
Cool guy (Me en7arag rasi ) : I stood for a moment then said in angry tone , where is the patient
Patient : Yes , thats me
Cool guy (acting pissed) : Did you enter this room before ??
Patient : No we didn't
Crowd (looking at the Mad guy)
Cool guy : OK ! Go there and have a seat and I ll check on you in a moment
Cool guy (turning to the Mad guy) : And who are you ?
Mad guy (lifting his badge up quickly giving me no chance to see it) : I am like you , a member in this Hospital
Cool guy (in a challenging tone) : Well you don't have the right to scream in front of patient , and you don't even have the right TO TOUCH MY BADGE !

To be continued ..............

After he got out , the head of the emergency department dropped by to see what happened ! After we talked , I told him " whoever that guy was , I wont care , no one have the right to do what he did "

By the way , that guy turned out to be something in the administration office !

HOW DEPRESSING !!!

It used to be a long way

2008-04-09T19:53:00.001+03:00

On the way back from uni , it has been a long GOOD time

Soon we will strike for good

2008-04-03T23:10:00.000+03:00

Standing at the nurse station doing some paper work , when a middle-age lady approached me and asked
She : Is doctor batee5 here ?
I : No he is not here !
She : Tab where is he
I : I don't know check for him at the residents room
She : ~ in an angry tone ~ Ma hala2 kont honak bedi adalni ray7a jai ana " I have just been there , I don't want to keep going back an forth "

What the hell !

I have spent 7 years having my ass kicked every day , having my sympathetic system to be exploited , abandoning lots of the things I used to do , doing paper work & being underpaid not to have some mad lady screaming at me just for nothing !

Why in hell should I , or anyone else on earth , know where the hell is doctor batee5 !

You might say , its lack of proper behavior & etiquette-ignorance people are living here , but please allow me to stop you there and scream in your face , NO IT IS NOT !

Its the mentality people started to embrace , once entering Prince Hamzeh Hospital . Its what the media tried to infest people's mind with . Its the chaos , the government , parliament & judicial system are allowing to happen !

This will soon be the state of all governmental hospitals , which for sure will be striking the private sector one day too .

Doctors & nurses in PHH are working under lots of stress now , they are really being afraid of getting in touch with any patient ....... Fear is good , we all know that , but trust me , not here ! Everyone is trying to get rid of his responsibilities by throwing it on another person once there is a chance to do so ! And that will do the patients no good ! But for sure it will save the doctors from being sued and thrown in jail - for about a month till now - for no real reason !

I am not saying not to penalize those who make mistakes , and slacke it at work , but that should be done in an organized way , there should be a complete view for the whole system from A to Z , starting from the Ministry of Health and ending with the patients !

Springle Mingle

2008-04-01T17:32:00.006+03:00

A Simple Case of Deadness

2008-03-27T21:40:00.005+02:00

Regarding the Hafnawi / Hefnawi / حفناوي case , seriously , I don't know what is happening here in Jordan , but unless there has been something still mysterious and hasn't been revealed yet , the whole story should ended long time ago !

Well , I have been personally interested in what happened recently at the emergency room of Prince Hamzeh Hospital " PHH " a couple of weeks ago . I tried to ask people who witnessed the whole event , and this is what I say when being asked about this whole story .......

Before the end of shift A at the emergency room , an old guy was brought in by the paramedics - Al Defa3 Al Madani - to the ER after falling down while he was walking on the streets and put on a bed , the doctor tried to get some information from him , but apparently the patient was disoriented , he took his phone and called his daughter to tell her that her father was found on ground and brought to PHH . The doctor asked for a skull X-ray , as any other doctor would deal with similar patients . The doctor carried on to examine the other patients at the ER . After a while , when he returned to check on Mr Hifnawi , he wasn't there !

At the ER of PHH there is 3-4 workers , who stay there to take patients who are critically ill whether on a wheel chair or by moving the whole bed to other departments according to what their conditions require !

Now , maybe at that time those workers were all away , so the patient was asked to wait , or the patient managed to get up and go to the radiology department by his own !

On the arrival of the patient's family , they were told that their father had been asked for an X-ray and didn't came back , before completing the management procedure , they and the doctor himself tried to look around the ER for the patient but they found nothing !

After 2 days the patient was found in the ER's radiology department dead !

According to a witness who saw the patient at the time of opening the room , the patient was found at the END of the ER's radiology department , behind a counter , with only his head being visible and a pool of blood beneath it , emphasizing that the X-ray request form was folded and found in his pocket !

This radiology department at the ER , has been never used before , it has been always closed , but at that day it was open for maintenance !

IN MY OPINION , and with all respect for the patient -peace be upon him - and the patient's family , this is a simple case of deadness , a guy who died on his way back from somewhere to somewhere else ! I don't think it would make any difference if he was on his way back from school to home or from the ER to the radiology department ............... Or how about to say , a patient who signed a discharge note on his own responsibility , or maybe a patient who went out of the hospital without telling his doctors and their approval .

In a situation like that in PHH which is dictated upon by the Ministry of Health , a doctor at the ER is not impelled to get patients to the radiology department or the lab , theoretically that is impossible !

Follows later ....

What is the truth behind this door

2008-03-19T08:09:00.004+02:00

The emergency radiology department door at Prince Hamzeh Hospital .
During my day at the hospital I pass there lots of times , but I never noticed it was there !

How did an old guy - Hafnawi / Hefnawi / حفناوي - get in there ?

What do you feel ?

2008-03-16T01:16:00.001+02:00

In Love : Blog About Jordan Day

2008-03-12T23:50:00.007+02:00

I really don't know what to write about , actually there are lots of thoughts rushing to my mind , bs I am sure , no matter what I write , it wont satisfy me !

But after all , I pick this special moment to share with you on this day . Its about a feeling I had three years ago , on my way back to Jordan at Istanbul airport , when we stood in a line to get into the airplane . After 5 weeks of homesickness at the States I was finally waiting in a line to get into my last transportation to Jordan , when I saw a Jordanian family standing in front of us , with the red shma5 , talking in a Jordanian accent , typical Jordanian kids playing around , the mother screaming after them ! I was numb with goose bumps all over , my heart started beating so fast , with that weird feeling as if it goes down and up , I just looked at my brother and had a very big smile !

It is one of the moments that proves to me , how much I am in love !

Tell me whats your ring tone , I will tell you who you are

2008-03-11T00:17:00.000+02:00

While sitting in the morning report , hearing yesterday's admissions , being lost in the middle of your thoughts about the diagnosis and whats missing ..... a mobile rings , eno yeah its 3adi , bs the variety of ring tones people use is really inexpressible ! Some are just too normal , some are classy , others are funny , & some are just too much inappropriate , in other words ..... 7afartali !

Ya3ni for god sake , being a doctor in a hospital , standing in the middle of a pond full of nervous patients , having your phone rings , o yetla3li Nancy wella Haifa batee5 !! Eno kteer heik ! Get a decent ring tone !

In my opinion , I believe there is a very strong relationship between your ring tone and the level of how 7afartali you are ! So be careful !

Whats on her mind ?

2008-03-10T12:34:00.002+02:00

2008-03-05T17:59:00.001+02:00

2008-03-03T23:52:00.002+02:00

I was just Kidding

2008-02-09T20:15:00.001+02:00

After a long discussion and argument about sensitive issues that was full of emotional storms , where it impels you to take certain actions and build some thoughts and behavior about it for later , the talk ends with " Hey , by the way ....... I was just kidding " followed with a stupid laugh !

Oh my god , I just cant describe how much zana5a you have , I cant imagine how concentrated your zana5a is , I cant imagine what the hell were you thinking about , I cant imagine how could that be funny !

Oh come on Dar , why are you making a big deal of it ? Where is your sense of humor , it was just a joke man , she was just kidding after all !

Snowman Terror

2008-02-02T01:55:00.000+02:00

Born on January 31 2008 at 4:30 PM
Died on January 31 2008 at 6:30 PM

After asking " why black olives not green ones " , Ma2moon , Mohammad , me , & everyone who passed by were all happy after placing the eyes and putting the final touches on Mr. Snowman , who even didn't get the chance to have a name .
After spending more than 3 hours of rubbing our hands to get our snowman done

Ma2moon , my little brother , said " After taking pictures with it , I am going to beat it up "
I replied " Ya weilak "

After going upstairs to have our " LATE " lunch - as usual - we looked through the window to check on our new buddy , we found the head was gone , we were robbed , our snowman's head was stolen ! Personally I was pissed off , but I said to myself " Its OK tomorrow we ll do another one " , but after less than 15 minutes we looked back to see the whole thing was destroyed !!

What can I say , stupid teenagers , who need their butt's to be kicked , crossed by and filthy minds couldn't stand the idea of having something nice in the neighborhood decided to destroy it . Why do some people have such mentality , why do they act like this , why they are so klab o 7aywanat , ***** , **** , ******* , ***** , & ****** . 5ara 3aleihom !

And for the records , the spikes are macaroni , NOT shok asfar !!!

Babbling again

2008-01-29T12:53:00.000+02:00

Well , I don't know where to start from , actually I am not in not a very good situation , NO i am not depressed neither mad ,angry , or whatever ..... I am fine I am doing fine , the problem is that what can I say .... Sometime you think you will get pretty relieved when opening up , and start thinking out loud with those people whom are the center of the whole issue , but the big disappointment comes when you figure out that you are still stuck in the same spot , but do u think it is that easy , ha .... the bigger letdown comes when you find out that things got worse , balash worse , lets say complicated .......... Stupid irony !

Yeah yeah , everything happens for a reason , I know all this bunch of crap , I admit it is so true , but damn it , when the formula says 1 + 1= 2 then it should equal 2 , it will be totally pissing you off if it says something other than 2 , although it might be of a great value for later , but still , it is not cool , especially when you want that thing so bad , you just cant see the magic of destiny playing its role , whatever ! And by the way , why it didn't start snowing yet !

I miss ME

2008-01-26T23:33:00.000+02:00

Well , I am a little bit ashamed of myself , eno ya3ni where the hell was I ? Why i haven't blogged since ages ? Why I never told anyone that I ll be away ? Why i stopped suddenly ? Tab balash , why it took me so long to come back ? Was there anything that kept me away ? What was that reason or yemken reasons that kept me away ? Was I sick ? Was I internet-less ? Was I busy ? Sho el gosa ?!

Be e5tesar , wallah i don't know where the hell was I , and to be honest with you , i am not promising u neither myself that I ll be back , the reason behind me writing all of this crap that i have talked to someone , a fellow blogger , who seems to be on my list for ages , and you can see spider web over their name ....... Long story short , me myself i have no answer for these Q , and I actually don't care , anyways what matters now is that i am writing , on an attempt to get back

Equaled Equation

2007-11-22T00:08:00.000+02:00

November twenty first , eleven forty five midnight , alone sitting in the dark , wind blowing outside , trees rubbing their leaves , cold looking through the window , quietness screaming all over the place , I almost can hear every single rain drop , Ma 3aleina .....

Some companies have certain policies for stabilizing the demand on their products or services at a certain level confined to a certain group of people , for preserving the continuous need and quality of what they are offering , by limiting the supply and controlling the price ! The well known rule of Supply & demand , whenever the demand increases the price goes up , and whenever the supply increases the price goes down ; is actually what I am referring to here ........ After all , these companies try to reach a state of equality between the supply and demand to attain the best results that will ends for its good anyways .

This rule applies perfectly on what I am trying to say here .

We humans , all have that desire - in varying degrees of course - to be the center of interest of those surrounding us , to be admired and respected , and always being liked to be talked to ........... Thus , one of the basic things the person should MASTER to satiate this desires is the Art of Supply & Demand rule .

Know how and when to offer yourself , always try to balance the two side of the equation , not to be so difficult to be got to , neither to be so cheap ......... Always try to be demanded for , don't offer yourself easily , make people feel how glorious talking to you is , let them put some effort to reach you , people never feel the joy of something easily got , deep inside they like most what they need to work for , even if they never admit it !

What needs to be said was said , but what is more important to remember , that this is only one part of an equation , that should be equalized !

Forbidden fruit !

2007-11-20T18:20:00.000+02:00

I am not really sure of what I am trying to say here ...... bs I think I love it when I talk vague ........ I just take a little event in my life to transform into a life lesson , I love doing that ....

Anyways , back to the post , let me just gather my thoughts ............................. Now , do u know the situation , when you want something , and it is just right there in front of you , and you can have it without being asked and do whatever you want with it ; but you will not even dare touching it . Because you know it is a one time chance , you will get it know and it will be all yours for the mean time , but you are not going to have it again ....... You cant afford having it again ....... Maybe it is something related to money , emotions , availability ......... anything , it is just difficult to own it now .

The feeling is much similar to that of having a one-time-use camera , once used , it will be of no benefit where you will get rid of it immediately . You can have some pictures for now , but not for later , and unless you are able to afford getting a real camera , till then you will always have that feeling !

Irony

2007-11-16T22:56:00.000+02:00

When a red apple tastes sour
When sleep makes you tired
When knowledge turns into ignorance
When water causes thirst
When money buys no happiness
When medicine causes pain
When whom supposed to be a friend turns to be the same one who stabs you from the back
& When whats supposed to make you happy leaves a scar in the heart

Just wait & pray !

Simplicity

2007-11-09T10:10:00.000+02:00

The feelings and reactions of people here in Jordan , when they have been asked for some help or a direction of somewhere is totally an indicator of how simple and good their nature is ! You cant imagine how happy and proud they will feel , if they were able to help .... On the other hand , they will still feel really bad and pity , as if they made something wrong , if they couldn't help for a reason or another !

Just try to ask someone for directions ..... and see his reaction !

Lub-Dub Lub-Dub

2007-11-02T21:55:00.000+02:00

Thats what we have been taught at med school the heart sounds will sound like when placing the stethoscope on the fifth Intercostal space at the Mid-Clavicular line of someone's chest , which is the dynamic force behind the pulsation you feel by just pressing lateral to the Flexor Carpi Radialis tendon .

And just yesterday , the first " P wave " on the ECG was spotted , and Jordan Pulse came to life , every Jordanian heart started beating with it , lub-dub .. lub-dub .. lub-dub .. , to spread the pulsation and the Jordanian identity all over the world .

Jordan Pulse is a site that was launched to be the No. 1 Jordanian portal among all Jordanian websites , and I can say it will be totally different than the others , because simply the ones behind are totally different .

Just feel it ! Feel the Pulse !

Similarity Perhaps

2007-10-29T14:02:00.001+02:00

" لالغاء حصص الاجتماعيات " / " For deleting the social studies classes " thats what ma2moon , my youngest brother , suggested for his election campaign for the students' council the other day . After getting some colored papers and markers , and making him a couple of posters to hang in the class , I asked

Me : How many guys you ll be competing with ?
Him : A girl and another guy
Me : and what if no one gives you his vote
Him : No , me and ten of my friends gathered a day before and played rock , paper , and scissors , and I won , so they are all going to vote for me ...... then he continued " aslan el miss 7akatli eni ana fayez fayez , bs hai heik " / " the teacher told me that I ll be the winning anyways " !!!

Thats interesting !

Friends V2.8 Demo

2007-10-26T23:42:00.001+02:00

Recently , and due to many reasons , I have been meeting so many new people , some were good some were bad , many were just normal . And there is that kind of people , whom you click with right away ........ There will be so many things in common , tons of ideas to share , you ll get along with so quickly , and it ll seem like you ll never have enough of them ; however , as human nature dictates on us to dig more in such people to get the chemistry to do its job ; fate sometimes stands in the way , not giving us the opportunity . I really cant imagine how smart it is in finding new ways to do that !

Its exactly like a pretty cool program you download form the net , that ll you get so excited and hyper to start using it ..... but it turns out to be a demo or a trial , where you cant use all of its features which limits your options , and at the end , you ll either dump , crack , or buy it ..... But reality is too far away from this .

Anyways , it was , and will always be , a real pleasure for me meeting you guys , because such moments do count !

LOL !

2007-10-10T23:40:00.000+03:00

Someone : Kol 3am o enta be 5eir
Me : O enta men ahlo !!!!!

In my defense , that was still before the Iftar , h3 !

Urggggh !

2007-09-30T17:11:00.000+03:00

I always feel stupid when I do that , especially when it turns out that the way it is supposed to be opened by is much easier & effortless , with no need for any EQUIPMENTS " msh 3am ba7ki 3al KitKat "

Efffff

2007-09-27T23:50:00.000+03:00

If you would have the chance to hack my account and get my password you will see more than 20 drafts .... More than twenty valuable , priceless , precious , uncompleted , disorganized thoughts , which couldn't find their way to the " Publish Post " click ............ I really wonder why I no more have the old spirit of writing , blogging and screaming my crazy thoughts out loud - In my book I define creativity by craziness , as much crazy you can get as much creative you can hit ....... and under that definition silliness has reserved its special seat -

Anyways , I ended up adding another draft up there , while I was trying to write something about hope ...... How it can be defined and about its influence over ourselves in deciding goals and how far to aim and shoot . It wont stop right there , it will also extend to involve our vision toward life , its influence over our behavior and attitude in every single part of our lives . It was also supposed to include the importance of the relation between the depth of our hope , its meaning , and how much faith we put in with its strength , continuity , and what effect it could have on our ............... everything !

Bs while I was writing , I didn't feel like it ..... I was like " What the hell am I writing .... and what for " ......... then I had a flash back about how good I used to feel the moment I click on " Posting " ......... to realize that I have no motive or hope to do that

Back to Amman's Streets

2007-09-20T16:51:00.000+03:00

Driving in Amman on a daily basis for my first time after having my driving license - and what a luck - from the far east to the far west after choosing Prince Hamzeh Hospital for my internship , has been my daily morning " nightmare " . For myself .... I am not really used to this amount of traffic everyday . I tried to use Google earth to find some shortcuts but guess what .... every single street will be jammed with traffic !

Ramadan Kareem

2007-09-14T17:48:00.000+03:00

When There is No One to Trust

2007-09-07T22:11:00.000+03:00

I really wonder why in the first place , we want to share our secrets with someone , cant we just keep them for ourselves . Why do we have that urge that cant keep a secret and insists on telling someone about it . Well I might have an answer here , maybe sometimes we want to have some feedback and see a third point of view and what is a better person to provide us with such a thing other than the person whom we trust , but how does it feel when no third point of view is offered , & instead a counter attack is waged at the wrong time with no previous alarm ....... Well , that doesn't matter , because shekelha it seems to be a human nature .

However , with this nature seeded deep in our minds , and had given enough time to grow and spread its roots in our heads , it will be hard for us to ignore . Which will turn to be a source of pain when you look at the same exact place you used to look before for the same reason , and the shock comes when you find it empty , despite the presence of the body ...... indeed a body without a soul is useless ! And having another person whom you can believe in and give him your trust , has never been easy !

The Bright Side

2007-09-04T18:07:00.001+03:00

Since starting my internship , 2 months ago , life wasn't as expected , it turned out to be much more serious , with lots of responsibilities , and too much truth ! Before graduation , I had convinced myself that there is no escape of medical field , its like a path with no way out , hence the need to enjoy what I will be doing for the next years , regardless to how it is supposed to make me feel like . However , for the mean time things haven't been so much joyful as planned , although they would remain the same when they turn to be joyful ...... Well , I am not really sure if this is how is it going to be or it is just like this because of the many DISTRACTING events I went through lately , keeping me away from concentrating ...... How pathetic !

Anyways , yesterday it was my last on call day in pediatrics ! At the middle of night , on the way out of the hospital , smelling the cool breeze , and at the moment of putting the key in the car's door , I realized that I was happy ! Despite the large No. of admissions we had that night , despite the amount of stress I had to put myself into , I realized that I enjoyed every second of it . Not being sure of the real reason , but having the ability to steal a smile in the middle of tears & getting a parent out of his/her worries ..... can really makes you feel good after all . A child's look feeling well and awake again - feeling grateful inside - but unable to show it except by smiling , putting his head down , stretching his arm , twisting it inside and giving you that look from the side of his eyes feeling shy .......... is priceless . Being connected with all those kids , feeling their interaction and simple emotional fuss toward the silliest gesture you do was the only bright side I could find !

Still not thinking of going for pediatrics !

Where have I been !

2007-08-31T14:36:00.000+03:00

For more than - what - 3 months ! Life hasn't been so normal here ! It all started after my graduation , where all my expectations were very high . I was so much active , enthusiastic , excited , glowing , passionate ....... name it , about the upcoming days . I was counting every second till I am done ...... But a black cloud started coming forth from distance , and all those sparkling terms started to fade one by one . I wasnt aware of all of that , and all in sudden I found myself in a lonely place , surronded by destruction & black clouds , where you can here nothing except for the wind .

Despite all the joyful occasions we had this summer , starting with my brother arrival , my graduation and officially being a daktoor , going to Syria all together , my other brother wedding , and many more ......... I couldn't enjoy any ! I wasn't sad or depressed , bs I wasn't happy , I was so much unhappy about anything I do or go through . Its like you are eating your favorite food but you cant feel the taste . In addition to some problems that had forced me to do major changes in my life .

All that time that had passed , I used to try as hard as possible to hide into my shell , and whenever i am supposed to get out , I try to pretend to be happy and that everything is cool .

I was counting on time to deal with all such things , but it seems that it took to long and I couldnt wait anymore , thats why I decided to push myself toward things that can change all of this , I am trying to put myself in the middle of somewhere , where I can start from the beginning , and to get out of the shell !

In an attempt to get "a"LIVE again

2007-08-26T19:40:00.000+03:00

In an attempt to get "a"LIVE again

Oath Ceremony

2007-06-17T19:52:00.000+03:00

Oath Ceremony

It had been a long time since I have seen my friends at med school in their so good looking suits and dresses ! Last Thursday , we had our Oath ceremony held in Qasr Al Thaqafeh in Amman . First of all it was so unorganized ! The general impression you will make that it was arranged as a routine of med schools ! Allah ya3teehom el 3afyeh those who worked on arranging it , I know there always lots of work to arrange for such things , but no one would argue that it could come out in a much more better form !

The ceremony started with the national anthem , followed by Quran and a speach for Dr. Zuhair Abu Fares the head of the Doctors Syndicate , then repeating the Hippocratic Oath after one of our colleague Ahmad Hussni . Later on , a couple of doctors , employees , and students were honored , for sure I wasn't one of them ! Then there was a comedy sketch and another clip presenting some of our pictures in med school , some of our good and bad but mostly bad memories ! Then we had to go on stage to receive a memorial souvenir , which we realized after a while that everyone had got the worng one , so everyone started a journey to look for his !!! So , for the guys , the party ended early before even waiting the girls to get theirs !!! !!!!

Anyways , talking about myself , I was happy ! At the beginning I felt myself into duty , doing this just for my family , but later on during the ceremony I found myself enjoying the whole thing .

Tomorrow we will be officially graduating from JUST , everyone is invited :)

Graduation Prova

2007-06-11T20:06:00.001+03:00

Graduation Prova

Today we had a prova for our graduation , that will be held on the 18th of June . At the beginning I was hesitating to attend , but later on last night I made my mind ! Despite the nice weather that was sunny with some shade of clouds and a cold breeze which was terrific , I didn't notice my sun burn till i got home .

Seeing everyone for the first time after being done with all exams and studying , and without having that feeling that keeps making you feel guilty for spending some time away from books , was worth living ! Taba3an , one of the things you don't want to happen in such occasions , a kissing cycle , because once started it keeps going on and on , having you kissing people you don't know , but what the hell ! Who cares know !

Our names were shouted out alphabetically , to stand into a line ...... The graduates parade started to flow into the stadium , and we were seated on our chairs ........ By the time we started to participate some ceremonies , I was surprised to know and for the first time that we had an university's anthem , impressive ! Then we were handled copies of Hippocratic Oath , so we all repeat after the dean ! Disappointing , I always had that fancy of reading it alone in front of a crowd while putting my hand on the Quran , somehow like how the ministers do it !! It crushed my soul :P

Anyways , my days at JUST started to get to an end , so way to go ........

Celebrate the Day

2007-06-07T02:15:00.001+03:00

Celebrate the Day

Wow ! Is that true .... no no no seriously , are we done yet ?! * talking about the exams silly * I cant believe that our 6th year FINAL med school exams had come to an end ! It seemed that this could never happen , We have finished exams about a week ago , and if you were wondering why I waited till today to celebrate this memorable day , the reason after that , that I have been in coma and needed to be taken to the ICU and later on for rehab ............

My suffering started with the internal medicine end rotation exam , moving to the 4 written exams 1 exam/week ; surgery , pediatrics , obstetrics & gynecology , and internal medicine , and lastly to the oral exams .

I used to spend the whole week home , and on the day of exam when going out I used to close my eyes as if I have been in a cave for years and cant look into the sun !! I lived in a hell of tension and stress , so as my family , especially my mom , which I would really thank her for standing beside me and kept on pushing me forward , I would also apologize for her and for everyone I had been moody with him/her lately ........

You cant imagine what my friends and I have been through in the past month , it was a very tough period for us , lots of students couldn't continue their exams without oxygen supplementations , which forced the deanship to put accessory oxygen masks , that pops out from the keyboard in case of emergencies .
Some had to do their exams in the ICU , since they need frequent monitoring of their respiratory & heart rate , fearing a sudden cardio-pulmonary arrest , or any other condition requiring immediate interfere , especially after the surgery exam .
Others got dehydrated due to the excessive sweating and hyperventilation , and needed IV fluid .
Others had a much more advanced conditions where they were put on TPN ; " Total Parenteral Nutrition " because of either significant weight loss and inability to eat due to their anorexia or in order to save time .
Some other students were put on prophylactic warfarin , to prevent DVT " deep venous thrombosis " because of stasis and the long hours spent studying without moving . Others had developed pressure sores too .
Many others had peptic ulcer disease and stress gastritis due to stress , large amount of coffee intake , and smoking .
Lots of the students had developed episodes of Irritable bowel syndrome .
A large number were suffering of neck pain diagnosed lately with cervical spondylitis , explained by the excessive use of their cervical spine while reading !
Some were unable to stand because they had muscular atrophy in the lower limbs .
Some developed UTI " urinary tract infection " because they refused going to the bathroom to save time .
Others had experienced panic attacks & sleep disorders with nightmares about the exams , ASK ME !!! Once I woke up terrified because I didn’t know how to treat HYPERCHLOREMIA " high chloride concentration in the blood " !!!

Anyways , we are done now and thanks God for all of this , since you will never feel how sweet is water till you take a sip of coffee !

Cute

2007-05-17T16:17:00.000+03:00

Cute

While I was studying for my Obstetrics & Gynecology exam , and in the " Maternal & Perinatal Mortality " lecture , I found this picture for this little cute baby , that I just wanted to share it here , mashallah 3aleih , balash ne7sedlhom el sabi !

Yallaaaaa

2007-05-08T00:41:00.000+03:00

Time is moving slowly these days !!! Sho hal sha3'leh !

Wake up !

2007-04-19T21:13:00.000+03:00

This is a must at 5:00 PM and after 10:00 PM

Its going to be a long month

2007-04-19T00:38:00.000+03:00

Its going to be a long month ..........

7adatha Fi Methli Hatha Al Yawm

2007-04-03T12:36:00.000+03:00

7adatha Fi Methli Hatha Al Yawm

Is it just me , or some other people do feel that 25 is younger than 24 !!! I always feel that even numbers are older than the odd numbers that follow !! Anyways , on the exact day 24 years ago I was born !

Three Accidents in 2 Weeks !!

2007-03-29T19:06:00.000+02:00

Three Accidents in 2 Weeks !!

Three accidents in 2 weeks !!! " SIGHS " Why don't you people know how to drive as before !!

Allah satar !!

Things that doesn't Count

2007-03-27T16:08:00.000+02:00

Things that doesn't Count

How much time do we spend arguing on silly stuff , thats if it was ploted on the life progression scale will draw a flat line , without causing any change ! By making a quick review to our daily deportment you will find that we keep ourselves busy with stuff that has no effect on our lives , that has no practical benefit , it actually will have a negative effect , relatively .

Everyone of us have two types of goals in his/her life , short term goals ; those which are related to the daily life and the near future and considered to be the blocks for achieving the long term goals ; which are related to the far future and indicates how high does a person think and aim !

As time keep on rolling , we measure our success in life by the progression toward our goals and how many steps we took to get us closer to them . Accordingly , actions and behaviors can be classified into three categories in relation to our goals , forward steps , backward steps , and " In -Place " steps .

What I am really concerned here about is the " In-Place steps " , where we keep standing at the same spot without progressing , exactly as walking on a treadmill , its not that we are having a rest , no at all , in the contrary , we put lots of efforts and it consumes lots of time for nothing , because at the end what counts is what we had achieved , and what we had achieved is measured by how many steps we took toward our goals .

This type of behavior we adopt in certain situations will lead us to no where , with no benefit to anyone , it halts our progression toward our goals , and it even makes it hard on us to restart again and continue heading with the same acceleration we had attained before .

If we can only overcome our " PRIDE " and widen our views and exploit all these wasted steps in achieving goals , we will end having extra efforts and time , which will give us a chance to be creative , and permit us to see things in a better way to plan for a better future by espousing new goals and new ideas .

This is on the personal level , how if it could be applied in the perspective of companies , organization or even nations !

Synergism

2007-03-19T17:06:00.000+02:00

Synergism

Lots of times , small things gather all at once and have a synergistic effect ! Synergism means a greater effect of two different actions working together than the expected sum of both actions when working alone ; in other words , each action have the ability to potentiate the effect of the other when happening together resulting in a greater effect than the sum of each independent effect of them alone .

In life , each day we encounter small problems , that are not even considered so , since they have an unnoticeable effect , we don't even bother taking them into consideration , they just pass unnoted . But those worthless events can cause lots of discomfort and have a great obtrusive effect when happening all at the same time .

This bad timing , for these events to occur simultaneously , will enforce you to look at each one of them as a dilemma by itself and to cause you lots of trouble accompanied with mood alteration ! And that is exactly when we be called narrow minded or stubborn , for being hurt by a silly absurd action , that usually causes no pain !

Ventilation

2007-03-18T17:08:00.000+02:00

Ventilation

It gets really annoying & frustrating when being hurt by our beloved ones ! The whole idea we draw about such people in our minds is almost near perfection . Such people will have a great effect on us , their happiness will spread joy in our lives , their sadness will color everything black in front of our eyes ...... On the same time , we would expect a lot from them , but we will get totally disappointed when we find that our expectations had gone too high beyond their standards and never got met .

When you expect them to be an open book for you , or at least share with you what goes in their lives , since you care for them , but on the other hand , you get entirely surprised for knowing something for the first time , which had been an old fact for others ! Urgh !

Anyways , as much as you care , as much as it will hurt !

Jordan Vs. Scotland

2007-03-07T19:27:00.000+02:00

Jordan Vs. Scotland

Spending more than 3 hours listening to someone about the differences between our society and the west could really stand on your nerves , especially when that person's point of view is totally right and true but in the same time it is expressed with disgust , or when its spoken for the sake of speaking and letting the audience know that he got the right way , without even trying to apply this while speaking !

When someone speaks about dictatorship in the Arab society , and how much it is being subconsciously adopted in our daily life through our behaviors and relations with each others , the father with his son and his wife , the barber with his customer ........ I would really be impressed with the spokesman , but when I find that the same person is not ready to hear others question to the end ....... When he starts answering a question without even finish asking because he thinks that he knows it all ...... When he is not ready to hear others opinions ...... When he criticizes " the way of thinking " for anyone who would have an opposing point of view to his ...... And relate all of that to our culture !

Well , I would agree with every single word he said , because in a way or another its a fact , its our culture ! But spending few years in the US or Europe doesn't mean that you are a part of their culture and you are no more related to here ! Personally I wont blame him , its the " culture " he was raised in !

What made things worse that when he asked if anyone would have any comment on what he had been saying for the past 3 hours and that he is totally ready to hear , but you will get surprised with the way he responds and how adherent and stuck he is to his ideas , without giving himself a chance to weigh the verity of what is being said !

Well , living in such a " CULTURE " , I have no other place to say this other than my blog !

A Quick Thought

2007-02-19T16:51:00.000+02:00

A Quick Thought

Why do lots of people feel ashamed when they pronounce an English word in an incorrect way ! While on the other side , we never made fun of those who don't speak Arabic well , neither do they feel ashamed for that ! But when it comes to English , it is the thing that you should know , and if you don't , it will be a great disgrace !

Need to be Said

2007-02-11T20:52:00.001+02:00

Need to be Said

Why is it hard for us to accept the truth , why shall truth always - or lets say most of the time - makes us mad ! Why is it hard for us to admit that we are wrong , why we don't listen to what is being said , when it comes to proving us wrong ! Why we don't want to believe anyone except the voice in our minds ! Why do our preconceived ideas prevent us from reaching the truth !

I believe that when someone goes into a situation , he should listen for feedback . He should widen his view by using others' eyes , since he would never be able to see the whole thing all at once , there are always different angles to look at the same thing in the same time , and see different things !

Sometimes , the situation we are going through narrow the choices in front of us , and necessitates to think in a certain way , pushing us away from other roads , and restricting our decisions according to the limited view we had ! And here rises the importance of listening to other point of views !

We should be fair with ourselves , while having others talking , its not enough to hear them with our ears ; we should listen to them with our minds ! We should be neutral and unbiased with our preconceived ideas or any personal believes about the person or the situation !

Well , my friend , I am sorry , but when you ask me about my opinion , I should say nothing except what I see in front of my eyes - regardingless of its trueness or matching to your believes - but since you had asked , you should have listened ! Otherwise its better not to ask in the first place !

Of the Best Feelings

2007-02-03T01:12:00.000+02:00

Of the Best Feelings

One of the best feelings is , when you feel that someone cares about you and is looking after you !

When you see things in a different way

2007-02-01T23:43:00.000+02:00

When you see things in a different way

Well after spending the first 3 weeks of my new rotation " Obstetrics & Gynecology " - ya3 - in the hospital as a patient , today I have finished my second successful week in this rotation . As a good news ; I can say we have reached the best formation for our sub-group ...... Me , Omar , Munjed , Samer , Fareed , Muna , Rasha , and Lina :) One group spending good times together , laughing , joking , picturing , where we all can understand what does each one of us wants , with no more LOTS ! The rotation so far seems to be well organized , starting the morning report at 8:00 , history taking and rotation activity from 9:00 - 9:45 , round with the attending doctor till 11:30 , then we will have a lunch break from 11:30 - 12:30 , then a seminar for an hour and a half .

The past few weeks were different , and what made them different , is the way I see things ! During my whole life in med school those weeks were so remarkable , I have never felt down due to the amount of studying , I have never been broken into a million piece when being criticized by any of the doctors , I have never woke up late , I have never thought of not attending , I have been studying with a smile on my face , I have been much more active in rounds and lectures , I even have never yawned during the lectures , I kept looking forward for the next day all the time .........

I have been in this rotation before , and systemically , it is not much more different from other rotations , it is same same , the same studying , the same doctors , the same material , the same 6:00 AM wakening up , the same way back and forth , the same usual normal boring stuff . All these things that I have been complaining about before , have been changed into an exciting , amusing , & pleasurable moments .......

Maybe some times we need to change things to feel happy ; or more correctly to feel different ! While on the other hand , we can reach the same result if we just try to change our perception and sensing about the same things that has been around us since ever ! Well maybe that doesn't sound as easy as it sounds , and it might need something big to happen to initiate a whole cascade that ends up with you seeing the same exact things in a different way ! Which is totally worth it !

You don't want to miss this

2007-01-30T16:33:00.000+02:00

You don't want to miss this

Although , I would be barely seen , and I would barley recognize myself after 10 years , bs still it leaves a sorrow in your heart when you know that you have missed such a shot , where everybody will be there ! It feels like that you have spent the past 6 years for nothing .......... Anyways , they have decided to regather again for another shot , for those , e7m , who missed it the last time , but I hope the weather will be fine tomorrow !
And thanks Lina for the pictures :)

Apologies !

2007-01-27T00:54:00.000+02:00

Apologies !

I classify apologies under the magical words section , that are capable of flipping a whole situation 180 degree ! It blows out all the building up rage in seconds , hearing someone apologizing for something he did or he even didn't , is more than enough to give you a chance to take some deep breaths and count till 10 before acting in rage !

Apologies can be used mainly in three ways ; when you regret something you did and feel guilty for that , when you want to save a situation and apologize for something you didn't do but the other side totally believes that it was you , and when you apologize for things that doesn't demand an apology in order to be thought as a super sensitive person who cares for other's feelings .......

However , apologies can be classified again into successful or disastrous ! A successful apology takes the form of " I AM SORRY " . On the other hand , disastrous apologies are always followed by excuses ; regardless where the excuse was true or not , having an apology followed by an excuse wont sound right at that time for the others . So please , from the whole beginning when you decide to apologize don't think of offering your excuses - at least at that time !

I am Back

2007-01-24T19:29:00.000+02:00

I am Back

Waaaal it has been along time , since I had my last post ; at the fourth of Jan !! Well , lots of things happened in between , and it all kept me away from my blog . But the main reason for my disappearance was some health issues , well it is not that I was bed ridden all that time , it was just that I needed multiple hospital admissions , which kept my mood low since I had to miss many family occasions that happened lately .

My story starts with , Once upon a time , there was a guy called me , who started to complain of a pink eye & left eye discomfort , at the beginning it was treated as simple conjunctivitis , but a week later my left upper eyelid started to get swollen " ptosis " , where I have been referred to the hospital and admitted accordingly to be treated as a case of Periorbital Cellulits . I was just admitted for one day because I didn't want to spend my Eid at hospital , so I was discharged with 3 IM injections for 3 days , but there was no response at all . However , after spending Eid at home , miserably bored , the doctor wanted to re-admit me again for 5 days this time - the complete coarse of treatment - for IV antibiotics which also ended with no visible improvement . At that time , things had to take another direction , a mass was felt near the lacrimal gland , an MRI needed to be done , and another admission was preferable to make the MRI urgent . A new differential diagnosis rose to the top of the list , Idiopathic Orbital Inflamatory Disease , aka IOID or pseudo-tumor . Four days later , I was assigned for a minor surgery for taking a biopsy from the mass , which was under general anesthesia , IT WAS LOVELY :) Thereafter I was started on oral steroids . Today , I got the final results of the biopsy , and it was relieving some how .

Anyways , that was one of the main reasons that kept me away from writing anything here , and I would like to thank all those who have noticed my disappearance , thanks , and a very special thanks for Yabco , who spent with me most of my accommodation at KAUH , and kept sleeping on my bed , eating my food , preventing me from watching my favorite shows ...... thanks man , you are the best , 3'alabtak ma3i :)

Happy Holidays !

2007-01-04T00:16:00.000+02:00

Happy Holidays !

I was away again , and it seems that I will be away one more time ! I didn't feel to blog lately for several reasons , one was because of the cold weather , second I was kind of sick , third it was the holiday season , and I decided to take my leaves from my blog for 2006 before it ends o yroo7o 3alai !

First of all I would like to greet everyone with Eid al Adha and the new year , hope you all had a good time and enjoyed yourself despite the miserable news we heard about Sadam Hussein execution , that carries lots of bad intentions on the Iraqi people themselves , Arabs , and all Muslims ! Sadam Hussein , may your soul rest in peace !

How would it feel if you need to have three injections per day for three days !!

I guess I can answer that , you wont be able to sit properly !

The Jordanian Way

2006-12-27T11:55:00.000+02:00

The Jordanian Way

That was more than fun for me to do , I went through girls profile at Hi5 , and checked the comments that were left there by guys , by JORDANIAN guys , and I couldn't stop laughing .... Here are some FEW examples

Ya3ne entee lameh kol banat el7ara meshan tetsawaree :D
I cant believe that u live in jordan looooool , they would've eaten u alive if u walk outside :P
Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiii nice im jojo , bas 3angad nar wad3kom 2elek masla7ah wd me ( email )
Walla walla 6ool 3omri ba2ool ahel ramallah a7la 3alam .... am from ramallah 2. nice pic
Hi , i wana tell u , u r not cute , u r super cute , super cooool , super pretty , super sweet , super suger , super soft , super woman , hehehe , and i wana be yr friend , u super priences , thiz iz ma mail
Walahe maleket jamal , msh sa3eed , hehehehe ! l2 3njad masha2allah
Killing machine!!!
One word , neyaaaaaaalo
Jordan o basss , dayman bnat jordan 7lweeen
A7la mn nancy w haifa , so cute
The sky is blue , it suits to u ..... maybe its creation just for u :>
My princess permit to kiss ur pic
As i always say there are words to describe ppl . But there are few ppl describe words , and u really describe the beauty and sweetness words .
Ya3ny lesh kolkom 7elween momken afham?..inty mna2yeen ba3ad hek?
Akeed babaki wo mamtek 7elweeen , 3ashan heek ente 6al3a zay el2amar (^_^)
Walik ba2olik kteer heek 5alee 7alaweh la 3'eerik (3an gad nyalo ;p )
Brb , aroo7 3l Google ashofle ma2zon w aje..ma r7 a6awwel ;)
If you dont mind an older guy then you will be the flower the angel and the queen in my life
3ala rasy enty we sahbetik
Mmmken atlob edek mn baba
Betjanene kter o sha3rek marfo3 bya5od el3agel ...
Ya reitni ana el dbdoob
O sharafy kol wa7deh a7la men el tanyeh walla ma ana 3aref aktob comment 3aleeky wella 3aleehom " men el a5er i love you all
Hey would u mary me??
El wa7ad Amar o ya doub mla77e2 .... kef lamma ykoun fee 2marein ;)
From The End
Nice damn pic !!! A picture that guys would go to war for .?!! hehe
Meen elli mza3el el 7elo , I hope u to be happy babe , bacause hada el wejeh en5ala2 bas layed7ak msh lal za3al
Gatcha plant u in my garden and get a whole field of ya ;)
Sweetzz should not have more sugar .... Sugar + sugar = bad teeth .....
Did u get hurt? when u fall from heaven :P

The Last One

2006-12-25T16:03:00.000+02:00

The Last One

The last meeting for 2006 , was different this time , we had a quiz night at Belle Vue Hotel in Amman . I got there with Yab at about 6:10 , there was Wedad , Khalida , & Roba at the door , a couple of members were already there , we sat at our table with Ola , Shaden -thanks for the candy - Wedad , Hamzeh , Abeer , Hassan , and Husam .

There was some sweets , hot drinks , and juice for everyone , about 30 minutes later , we all settled down , there was 6 teams at 6 tables , Khalida was the hostess for the event . We need to choose one question of the 6 categories each round , History , Religion , Culture mix , Entertainment , Geography , & Miscellaneous . The questions were difficult somehow , things that I had never heard of , glad that there was choices . The best category was entertainment , where someone will pick a paper , with a name of a movie or a song written on it , and we should guess it without having him saying a word or even WHISPERING - hai 3ashan Oula . Our team got the third place , table No. 2 , where most of the people there I didn't know except for Adel , won the competition after a tie-break round with table No. 5 . They got their prizes , it was not much , but it was just a symbol . I also got a mug from khalida for offering some help for the night :) Anyways , it was fun , organized , and a routine breaker .

There was about 60 members and visitors who joined the meeting , I wont put a name list for everyone this time , because I barely know 1/3 of them .

All in all it was great , except just for one thing , that we didn't win , we should have won , I don't like to loose ! Bs seriously for all those who couldn't make it and feeling bad for that , I just wanted to tell you " 3anjad ra7at 3aleikom " , so you would know how to miss such a thing next time !

Pictures at Qwaiders

Red Eye " el 3ein el 7amra "

2006-12-22T16:55:00.000+02:00

Red Eye " el 3ein el 7amra "

Red eye sux !

I have been suffering of red eye during the past few days , so if it happens and you met me , dont ask " Whats wrong with your eye ? " ..... Save it !

Morning Report ...

2006-12-21T13:12:00.000+02:00

Morning Report ...

After the 3 times repeated lots , Yab and I were assigned to be on-call on Saturday to present the morning report for the next day ......

We got there at Princess Rahmeh Hospital at about 9:00 PM , I asked the resident what new admissions we have for today , he replied " all Nelson " he added " there was a case of asthma , UTI , bla bla bla bla .... , a case of Henoch Shoenleon Purpura with hypertension .... " I said " ok that is a good one , a case of Henoch with renal complication , that would be exciting to discuss "

We went directly to the patient , and we started to take some info from his mother , then we examined him and looked in his file for the investigations and any missing info .... After 2 hours everything was great . At that day we needed to stay at Irbid since it was late , we slept over Shami's place , thanks man for the hosting ...... I spent 2 more hours preparing for the case , and putting my list of differential diagnosis with all the possible relevant issue regarding the case . In my opinion , I think that this is an interesting case to discuss , especially that the patient presented with the full picture of the disease , in addition to that he developed some complications . So far so good , but while revising his lab test , there had been no clue that could explain his high blood pressure , I paused there for a little , bs I said despite the no explanation it is worth discussing !

The next day , I went up stage to present the case , everything went fine , till a doctor interrupted me and asked about the blood pressure readings after the admission , the patient was admitted at 10:30 and I have seen him at 9:00 PM , I took the blood pressure at the time of examination , it was high but it was improving on medications , bs it seems he wanted me to see all the blood pressure readings , I had a quick look on them , bs that wasn't enough . They didn't like it , they weren't pleased with my performance , and they even didn't like the choice of having this case to be discussed . Another doctor asked me how would you know that this is a Henoch Schonlein purpura , what is the presentation for those people , I said "According to the diagnostic criteria , first he is below 20 years old , second he has palpable purpura.... " when most the doctors there interrupted me " Where did you get this diagnostic criteria from , ya3ni HSP doesn't occur in older patients " I said " well it does , but this is a diagnostic criteria for children and I have just read it yesterday ........ " taba3an that didn't sound right for them !!!!!! I admit that I had some pitfalls but in the same time I deserve some credit , I don't want to be thanked for doing what I need to do , but at least not to be accused for simple pitfalls ...... Anyways , I knew that this would happen , I didn't expect anything else !

After I got home , I was curious to make a search on the net about 2 things , the diagnostic criteria of the disease , and having an unexplained elevated blood pressure with normal lab results .

I found that THERE IS a diagnostic criteria for HSP , and I was totally right ! Second of all I made an excellent choice by choosing this case , although I didn't expect it will be a rare variation for a relatively common disease ! It has been reported as a case report that 6 patients only till year 2004 had had this presentation , and my patient here can be added to the crew ..... So after all , I was totally proud of myself !

Here is a copy of my case !

Case Presentation

2006-12-21T13:04:00.000+02:00

Case Presentation

This was my case presentation of my on-call at Princess Rahmeh Hospital , I am just having it here for the records , and for the next post . It was a case of Henoch shoenlen purpura , HSP .

HSP is a small vessel systemic vasculitis , that affects the skin , joints , gastro-intestinal tract , and the kidneys . For further infromation

Here is my case ....

History

Patient profile

S.M. a 13 years old male patient lives in Irbid . He was admitted on the 9^th of Dec at 10:30 AM to Princess Rahmeh Hospital through the out patient clinic. History was taken from the mother .

Chief complaints

The patient presented to the clinic for follow up , complaining of abdominal pain , headache & runny nose for 2 days duration , and he was incidentally found to have a high blood pressure 160 /110

History of Present illness

Patients was diagnosed to have henoch schonlein purpura10 days ago , history started 15 days ago when he had an upper respiratory tract infection ( cough , runny nose & sore throat ) for about 2 days when he sought medical help and he was prescribed antibiotics and an appointment after 3 days

That was followed by joint pain and swelling of his wrists and knees associated with generalized back pain , there was no redness or hotness on the skin overlying these joints

At the same time the patient also started to complain of lower abdominal pain ; it was gradual in onset , progressive colicky in nature continuous most of the time , moderate to severe unablining him from sleeping , and there was no aggravating or relieving factors

Two days later the patient noticed small red spots on his both lower limbs around the ankles , that started to extend up on the posterior aspect of the legs and the posterior-lateral aspect of the thighs , and there was no itching

He also had a dark colored urine but not red

Stool was dark brown with no visible blood

There was no history of fever or hotness sensation

After 5 days of the onset of his upper respiratory tract infection , he was referred to princess Basma hospital , where some investigations were done and he was referred again to princess Rahmeh hospital .

He was admitted to the hospital for 5 days . CBC , urine analysis , urea and electrolytes , and stool analysis were done , and he was diagnosed to have henoch schonlein purpura , and kept on oral steroids and anti-acids during his stay at the hospital . During that period the rash started to subside , without the appearance of new skin lesions , the abdominal and joint pain was slightly relieved .

Despite that he was discharged with oral steroids and anti-acids for 3 days , and was given an appointment after 4 days .

Two days prior to the appointment , he started to complain of chest discomfort , with dry frequent cough especially at night , associated with headache . The abdominal and joint pain had never disappeared , and they have been aggravated on the 4^th day when upon stopping the oral steroids . There was no wheezes , no shortness of breath and no hemoptysis .

At the clinic he was found to have a high blood pressure 160 / 110 and was admitted accordingly

At the floor , blood , urine , and stool samples where taken and sent for CBC , urea and electrolytes , urine analysis and culture , and stool analysis for occult blood , in addition to a chest x-ray and ECG .

He was given IV steroids and antihypertensive ( hydralazine ) with frequent blood pressure monitoring and calculating fluid uptake and excretion

Systemic Review

General

There was sleep disturbance due to pain , but there was no weight change , no jaundice nor pallor and no fever

Cardiovascular System
- The patient had only a slight child discomfort 2 days prior to admission , but there was no dyspnea , no orthopnea , no paroxysmal nocturnal dyspnea , no palpitations , no dizziness , no intermittent claudication , and no ankle swelling
Respiratory System
- The patient had a chest discomfort , with runny nose , and dry cough but there was no history of shortness of breath , wheezes nor noisy breathing , stridors , hoarseness of voice , no ear pain nor discharge , and no hemoptysis
GIT
- There was a decreased appetite , no vomiting , no regurgitation , no dysphagia, no hematemesis , no heartburn , no abdominal pain , no abdominal distention , no flatulence , no change in bowel habits , he passes one bowel motion daily , soft in consistency , with no mucous or blood , or foully smelling
Urinary System
- Patient had no loin or suprapubic pain , no hesitancy , good flow , no intermittency , no terminal dribbling , no incomplete emptying of the bladder , no double voiding , no change in frequency , no burning sensation , no urgency , no urge incontinence , no nocturia
- Urine was dark yellow , with no hematuria , and no foully smelling
Genital Tract
- There was no pain in the genital organs , no urethral discharge , and no scrotal swelling , and he was circumcised
CNS
- The patient didn’t have any nervousness , no tremor , no fainting attacks , no fits , no loss of consciousness , no muscle weakness , no paralysis , no sensory disturbance , no paresthesia , no change of smell, vision, or hearing , no headache , and no change of behavior
Musculoskeletal System
- There was pain and some swelling in his wrists , knees , and ankles , with mild back pain that is aggravated with movements , but there was no movement limitation , no muscle weakness or wasting , and no gait disturbances
Endocrine
- There was no heat or cold intolerance , no excessive thirst, no polyphagia , no polyuria , no excessive sweating , no eye protrusion , and no neck swelling
Skin
- Only the skin red skin rash that appeared on both lower ankles and started to go up on the posterior aspects of the legs and posterior-lateral aspect of the thighs , with no itching

Past History

The patient didn’t have any similar attacks
There was no history of hypertension , diabetes mellitus , TB , asthma , rheumatic fever , bleeding tendencies or any other chronic illnesses
The patient didn’t have any acute illnesses , no history of measles , no chicken pox ….
No history of surgeries
No history of previous hospital admissions other than the one mentioned in history of present illness
No history of major traumas
No History of blood transfusions

Vaccination History

On the UNRWA program
He only had local tenderness after injectable vaccines
The last vaccine was at the age of 7 years
And he didn’t have any special vaccine

Drugs History

No chronic use of medication
During his illness he had been on oral steroids and anti-acids
He didn’t develop any unusual side effect to the medication he had ever used
No known drug allergy

Family history

There is no similar conditions in the family
The mother and father are not consanguine, and they are both alive not complaining of hypertension , diabetes , or any other chronic illnesses
The patient has 4 brothers they are all healthy , and he is the oldest
His maternal grandfather and paternal grandmother had history of HT and DM and died of myocardial infarction
His maternal grandmother and paternal grandfather had HT and DM , and they are both alive

Social History

Patient is in the 8^th grade with a good average , he likes to go camping and hiking
He lives with his parents in an owned house of 2 bedrooms on the first floor , with good ventilation and sun entry
No medical insurance
The father owns a supermarket
No one smokes in the house
No pets

Physical Examination

Vital signs

Pulse : 80 / minute , regular with good volume
Blood pressure : 125 / 75
- Systolic above the 95^th percentile
- Diastolic above the 95^th percentile
Respiratory rate : 30 / minute
Temperature : 36.5 axillary

Measurements

Height : 147 cm between the 10^th and 25^th percentile
Weight : 45 Kg on the 50^th percentile

General Examination

The patient was lying flat on bed , conscious , alert , oriented to time , place , and person , he was in pain and flushing all over his face . There was no signs of respiratory distress , no abnormal sounds , odor , nor movements , no cyanosis , no jaundice , no pallor , with good hygiene and no special bedside features

Hands Examination

Hands were symmetrical , warm , sweaty , no muscle wasting , no palmar erythema , pink palmar creases , no peripheral cyanosis , no clubbing , no splinter hemorrhage , and capillary refill was less than 2 seconds

Head Examination

General
- There was no dysmorphic features , no visible or palpable masses , and no tenderness
Eyes
- Symmetrical eyes , with normal size , no hyper or hypo telorism , no epicanthel fold , no upward or downward slanting of the eyes , no xanthelasma , pink conjunctiva , white sclera except for a brown pigmentation on the left eye , no squint , and normal eye movements
Ears
- Ears were symmetrical , with normal shape and no deformities , normal position 1/3 above the lateral canthi , no ear discharge , and no ear tenderness
Nose
- There was some nasal congestion and nasal discharge , with pale mucosa and enlarged inferior turbinates , no flaring ale nase , no depressed nasal bridge , and no septal deviation
Mouth
- Lips were pink , no ulcers , and no cleft lip
- Gingiva was pink with no ulcers or hypertrophy
- Teeth were normal except for some dental caries and missed teeth
- The tongue was moist , pink in color , no ulcers , symmetrical , and normal movement
- Pink buccal mucosa was normal with no ulceration
- No cleft palate or highly arched palate
- Tonsils were only enlarged with no hyperemia or white follicles

Neck Examination

The neck was symmetrical , with no scars , no visible masses , no skin lesions , no discoloration , carotid pulse was visible , but there was accessory muscle use , and suprasternal retractions
No tenderness , no palpable masses , no cervical and supraclavicular lymph nodes enlargement , thyroid gland couldn’t be palpated
Trachea was central
No carotid bruit

Chest Examination

Inspection
- By inspection the chest was symmetrical , no pectus excavatum or carinatum , moving with respiration , with intercostal and subcostal retractions , no scars , no skin lesions or discoloration , no visible superficial dilated veins , and a visible apex beat
Palpation
- There was no tenderness , symmetrical chest expansion , normal symmetrical tactile vocal fremitis , trachea was central , and no axillary lymph node enlargement
- Apex beat was located 5^thleft intercostal space at the mid clavicular line , there was no heaves nor thrills
Percussion
- By percussion the chest was resonant all over except for the heart and liver dullness
Auscultation
- Normal S1 and S2 , there was no S3 or S4 , no murmurs , no clicks , no snaps and no pericardial rub
- Good bilateral air entry , vesicular breathing all over the except over the sternum where it was bronchial , no wheezes , no crackles , and no friction rub

Abdominal Examination

Inspection
- The abdomen was symmetrical , flat , moving with respiration , umbilicus was inverted centrally located with no discharge or discoloration . There was no scars , no striation , no visible masses , no visible dilated superficial veins , no skin lesions , no areas of hyper or hypo pigmentation , no hair distribution , visible pulsation over the epigastium , no visible pulsatile cough impulse over the hernial orifices
- Genitalia was normal , circumcised penis , with scanty hair , no scrotal swelling , & no ulceration
Palpation
- Abdomen was soft , lax , with generalized tenderness especially over the epigastium and left iliac fossa , there was no palpable masses , liver , spleen , and kidneys weren’t palpable , and there was no renal angle tenderness
- There was no scrotal or penile tenderness either
Percussion
- The abdomen was all dull except over the epigastium , left and right iliac fossa
- Shifting dullness and transmitting thrill were negative
- Liver span was 9 cm
Auscultation
- Bowel sound was normal 4 / minute , and there was no renal bruit

Lower limb examination

Both lower limbs were symmetrical , there was only some remnants of the previous skin lesions , no muscle wasting , no swelling , no discoloration
There was no tenderness , no palpable masses , no pitting edema , femoral , dorsalis pedis and posterior tibial pulses were present , popliteal pulse couldn’t be felt , and the capillary refill was normal

Central nervous system

Mental status
- Patient was conscious alert oriented to time person and place , responding well to the surroundings
Cranial nerves
- Intact
Power
- Was 5/5 all over
Tone
- Normal tone , no spacticity , no rigidity , and no hypotonia and no clonus
Reflexes
- All reflexes were intact “ brachioradialis , tricebs , biceps , ankle , and knee “ , and no hyper or hypo reflexia
Meningeal signs
- No nuchal rigidity , kernig's and brudzinski's signs were negative , and no babinski sign
Coordination
- Finger nose , heal – chin , rapid hand alternating movement tests were all normal
Gait
- Was normal

Summary

A 13 years old male patient , was diagnosed to have HSP 14 days ago , was found to have a high blood pressure 160/110, in addition to his arthralgia and abdominal pain . He was given IV hydralazine and on examination he had a high blood pressure 125/75 and moderate abdominal tenderness .

General Notes

Henoch Schonlein Purpura

It’s an immune mediated systemic small vessel Vasculitis
The immune reaction is triggered by an upper respiratory tract infection in 50% of the cases
Systems that get involved include
- Skin
- Joints
- GI tract
- Kidneys
- Testis
- CNS

Presentation

· Skin

o Starts as urticarial wheels then macules then Palpable purpura ,

o 100% will have skin manifestation

o 50% of patients have the purpura as their presenting symptom

o Most common site is on the lower extremities

§ Young patient è buttocks and upper thighs

§ Older patients è feet, ankles, and lower legs

· Joints

o Arthralgia or arthritis “ pertiarticular “

o 75% will have joint complains

o 25% have them as the presenting complaint

o Most common affected joints include the ankles and knees

GI tract
- Abdominal pain, hematochezia
- 50-65% of patients will have GI manifestations
- 10-15% will have them as presenting symptoms
- 6% of patients need surgery for GI complication
- GIT complications include
  - Intussusception
  - Perforation
  - Ischemia and infarction
  - Hemorrhage
  - Pancreatitis

· Renal involvement

o Hematuria “ microscopic / macroscopic “ , proteinuria , glomerulonephritis , nephrotic syndrome , end stage renal disease , & chronic renal failure

o 10-60% will have renal manifestations

Can appear after 3 months
Microscopic hematuria can be detected up to 1 – 2 years
1% will develop chronic renal failure

Other manifestations
- Scrotal pain and swelling , hepatosplenomegaly , seizures or mononeuropathies , headache , myocardial infarction or pulmonary hemorrhage
Disease recurrence can take place within weeks to months especially in those older than 2 years

Differential diagnosis

Meningococcemia
ITP
Hemolytic uremic syndrome
SLE
Rheumatoid Arthritis
Rheumatic Fever
Endocarditis
Leukemia

Investigations

Two or more of the following Diagnostic criteria should be present to diagnose HSP according to “ The American College of Rheumatology “
- Age <>
- Palpable purpura
- Abdominal pain or GI bleeding
- Extravascular or perivascular granulocytes on biopsy
CBC
- Anemia in case there was bleeding
- Platelets will be normal
- WBC might be normal or slightly elevated , will be very high in case of meningococcemia
Kidney Function test
- To see if there is renal involvement and impairment of its function
Urine analysis
- Hematuria
- Proteinuria
Renal biopsy
- Indicated only if there was nephritic , nephrotic , or hypertension to assess the severity and prognosis if the disease
aPtt & Pt will be prolonged
ESR will be elevated
Factor VIII will be decreased
C3 , C4 , & ANA should be done to rule out any other conditions such as SLE
Barium follow through might be indicated if there is GI involvement

Complications

GIT
- Intussupsion , perforation , hemorrhage , pancreatitis
Renal
- Chronic renal failure

Management

Self limited disease
Supportive treatment
- Hydration
- Pain control
Steroids

o For patients with severe abdominal pain and bleeding

o For patients with a high risk of developing renal disease including

§ Patients with nephrotic range protinuria and hematuria

§ Crescentic glomerulonephritis

o Note that : Patient receiving steroids may have a higher chance to relapse

Discussion

· The diagnostic criteria here applies on this patient , his age is below 20 years , he had bowel angina , in addition to palpable purpura as was documented from his file , so the diagnosis of HSP was established and fulfilled the diagnostic criteria .

· He was given oral steroids for about 8 days , that was justified by his severe abdominal pain and occult blood in his stool analysis . He was discharged after 5 days of steroid therapy , but the pain was slightly improved .

· In my opinion , and according to what I have seen with other patients , that this patient should be kept in the hospital till his abdominal resolves ……

· After 4 days of being discharged he was to have a high blood pressure 160/110 which is above the 95^th percentile ( Systolic 95^th percentile = 124 , diastolic 95^th percentile = 86 ) , he was admitted directly , with chest x-ray , ECG , kidney function , and urine analysis were done , they were all normal ! He was given IV hydralazine , that started to improve the blood pressure gradually .

· About 10 – 65 % of HSP patients have renal involvement , and a small percentage of them will develop nephritis with hematuria and elevated serum creatinine level that will be associated with a raise in the blood pressure .

· In rare varieties , some patients of HSP will develop hypertension despite only minimal abnormalities in their urine analysis and kidney function tests ; and that has been reported in only 6 children all over the world till the year of 2001 as case report.

· Some arguments have taken place weather to investigate those patients or not for a secondary cause of their hypertension , since the coarse of HSP can take several weeks .

Further information

Done

2006-12-20T02:00:00.000+02:00

Done

At Last , an end to the torture , yes , it was awful ! This rotation was the most stressful one since the beginning of my journey in med school . Morning report starts at 8 , if you are late you will get a " Ja7ra " or even kicked out , strict doctors , malignant doctors , doctors who just want to criticize you for the sake of doing that , they are ready to dig deep to find something to accuse you with , of course with their hidden smile ; the sign of victory ! I really wonder and start thinking " what is the incentive for them to squeeze every neuron in their brains and come up with ways just to prove that we screwed up ", taba3an not all of them , some have a real positive influence on you that keeps you pushing forward . Anyways , I will have a post about my case presentation in the morning report later on .

Today we gathered at 8:00 in front of the pediatrics clinic , we were divided into 4 groups , 2 groups entered the exam , and the other 2 waited outside ! The exam was an OSCE , it lasted for 1 hour ; so we had to wait for an hour for the first 2 groups to finish then we would enter . That is the norm but what was odd this time , funny at the beginning , boring and frustrating at the end , that Dr M. Khasawneh insisted on not talking , not having any books or sheets for revision , & not moving from our seats . We sat there doing nothing except for getting more anxious . We begged to open the TV , we had it on Rotana Cinema , bs there was a romantic scene so the resident came and turn it off , though it was one of those old movies but ....... Anyways we just wanted something to get busy with .......

Time was up , and we stood in a line to enter the exam stations , and there " Allah la yafarjeekom " .......... to be continued . I will have a post about the exam stations up here soon !

Short Pause

2006-12-10T23:20:00.000+02:00

Short Pause

There will be no new posts till Tuesday the 19th of December , where I will have my end rotation pediatrics exam

Your prayers , please ......

I have more than 70 of those ........ Graduates 2007 3ala 5eir inshallah

Book Tag ...

2006-12-04T14:16:00.000+02:00

Book Tag ...

A new epidemic tag infection has been spreading all over the blogosphere lately . After special investigations and using advanced high tracking techniques , experts claimed that the first case was reported at faye's blog on the 2nd of December ! The Book Tag has been spreading rapidly in a non-specified manner , it is estimated that more than 200 cases has been reported so far at different parts of the globe , and it is expected that within 2 more days the number would reach up to 5000 . The latest report from DIBO , Dar International Blog Organization , has identified two virulent factors so far 1- It is a simple tag that can be answered easily 2- It necessitates the victim to tag 3 other bloggers . H3 !

The Book Tag has reached " My Crazy Life " via TeaLover ............

Tag rules .....

Grab the closest book to you
Open Page 123
Scroll down to the 5th sentence
Post the next 3 sentences on your blog
Name the book and author
Tag 3 people

Text goes here ......

The Outcome of cardio-pulmonary arrest in children is poor ; only 10 - 15% survive and the majority of the survivors sustain permanent disability .
Therefore , the ability to anticipate or recognize pre-arrest conditions and initiate prompt and appropriate therapy not only may save the child's life but also may preserve the quality of the sustained life.
Hypoxia plays a central role in most of the events leading to cardio-pulmonary arrest in children .

Book : Nelson , Essentials of Pediatrics

Author Richard E. Behrman & Robert M. Kliegman

Lets see whom we have on the list ....Yab , Aya , Dima pay back time h3 , Shaden , Hareega , Weddo ,& Ibrahim

Jordan Planet Meeting

2006-12-02T14:42:00.000+02:00

Jordan Planet Meeting

On Thursday the 30th of November at the same Old view cafe , Jordan Planet meeting for this month was held .

The meeting was great as it will always be , because there and only there you will have the chance to meet those people whom you have been reading for for the past month , that was the full half of the cup that made the meeting worthful . This meeting was really special for having my best friend - Omar - there , besides to the so many others whom I was looking forward to meet one day Fadi , Isam , Hiba , Nada , Jansait , Fatoom ....... On the other hand , I can say , it was one of the unpleasant meetings I have been to since last year , Why ? Because the place - this time - sucks , despite of 7ala's and Wedad's efforts in contacting the people there , but we were seated at the middle of the place with no enough seats at the main table , having some of the attendants on extra tables ........ I was really annoyed by this ! I even couldn't have a chance to have a decent talk with people I had invited , even those whom I have known from previous meetings , I barely could have a small chit chat ! Therefore I really apologize for all members and new comers , for the bad picture we left in your mind about the meeting , but this is not always the case , usually things are more organized , without needing Khalida to shut everyone up , and freak everyone around !

3anywayz , next time inshallah we will have it in a better space and things will be more organized !

Attendants for this meeting were

Darwish Naji 7adret Janabi
Hala Taha Ya3teeki el 3afyeh wallah
Wedad (BetterLife) Ya3teeki el 3afyeh bs next time don't be late regardless to your excuses ;)
Omar Yab (Through the Film) Nice to meet you " Btw , this guy is my best friend "
Aya :) Inshallah next time you will enjoy it more
Jansait (JanMania) One of the weirdest name I have ever heard :) Nice to meet you , Hope we can have some more time next meeting
Fatoom (Natural Blue) Happy Birthday :) Nice to meet you and thanks for coming
Nimer The guest book was handled to the CIA :P
Wael Attili Family It was nice to meet the youngest attendants in the whole jordan planet meetings , that counts in the records :)
Shaden (SugarCubes) It was nice to see you there , bs make sure next time to leave me a seat beside you
Ola (Cinnamon Zone) It was nice meeting you
Muoffaq (MQabbani Minds Talk) Hope you enjoyed your time , see you next time inshallah
Ibrahim Owais Na3eeeeeeman :P
Ibrahim (Opairah) Check your measurement , 3ashani :P
Um Alyomn Nice seeing your there
Roba (AndFarAway) 3ala sho kan el m3asel
Isam Bayazidi Glad you could make it
Abeer Bayazidi I cant wait till you graduate so that you can re-blog again , o bala 7ejaj farta
Laith Majali Nice to see you there
Moey Haytham I guess you can find better shirts
Qwaider (Sweetest Memories) The Great Qwaider :) wa 2a5eeran , thanks man for everything , and thanks for the photos ya3teek el 3afyeh , hope you will be here the next meeting
Jad Madi Ya zalameh el 3omor be5las o el sho3'ol ma be5las
Oula Farawati (CONTROVERSY!) Al tad5een moder bel se7a , I will post something on how to personalize your template
Salam (Reflections) Salmeeli 3ala Zeid o Raya :)
Sari & Reem Wehre is sari :P it was nice meeting you
Issam (مواطن) It was a pleasure to meet you , i was told that you had some cool thoughts I want to hear next time
Lina Ejeilat zai akeni lama7tek there !
Fadi Haddad Mr. Fadi , nawartna wallah
Hiba Judeh Inshallah you will have fun at your new job , it was nice to see you
Nada (Deesse de chocolat) (Kootchii) H3 , E3maleelek blog 3al blogspot , o try to be more active , & for sure it was a pleasure to meet you
Samer Marzouq Practice well buddy , I will make sure to beat you on bowling
Mazen Al ALi nice to see you!
Ammar Ibrahim Sho gostak enta o Haifa ! :P
Kinzi , It was ncie to see you there , I cant wait till you have your blog ready , I am sure you have so many fans out there waiting ... :)
3bd Al 3aziz Why did you left so early ya man !!!!!!!!!
3bd Al 3aziz friend el 7a2 3ala abd al 3aziz , I know ! Hope I didn't forget any
Nadine I bet that you had a good time
Raneen & Manal I will be waiting you to launch your personal blog , and make sure to let me know
Hope I didn't forget any !

This meeting we tried to have some other ways to break the ice , to write names on papers and everyone would pick one and try to get to know him , at the beginning I thought it wasn't a good idea , but it turned to be a good one but it need more modifications , also we had a guest book , the comments there were really amazing , maybe I would put some of them up there in the future . After some members started to leave , the meeting ended all in sudden when " SOMEONE " suggested to move to another place !

All in all I had a good time with you guys , and kol meeting o ento be5eir !

For pictures check Qwiader's

You are totally right but You are a Jerk !

2006-11-26T22:16:00.001+02:00

You are totally right but You are a Jerk !

What makes me feel mad and pissed off is when you expect people to give , but all what they do is just take ! When you expect people to act as grownups , but all what they do is just to act as kids , when you expect people to sacrifice , but all what they do is being selfish , when you expect people to to be loose and flexible , but all what they do is just being stubborn !

Back there at KAUH , we are 8 students , we are all friends , and we know each others for a pretty long time , we even spend time with each others more than what we spend with our families ...... but when it comes to divide ourselves into groups and choose one , everyone cant think of any other thing except her/himself !

I am not trying to be Mr. perfect here , bs usually when such a situation takes place and I choose to be in a certain group but when I know that someone wants to be in the same group and its full , I just change my group for him/her , because I don't really care and it is not a big deal for me ! However , the problem arises is when I want to be in a group and someone wants to be in the same group and I don't want to go back , he/she says lets have a qor3a " a LOT " , I get really shocked " qor3a tab leeeh , wallah we are grownups ! "

WEEEEEELL * thinking ..... * wait a second ! They didn't do anything wrong , did they ? No they didn't , after all they only claimed their own deserved rights . I guess I don't have the right to blame them ! ................................. Do you know something , I guess I should be a jerk !

With all respect to my group , although i was pissed off , I didnt mean anyone in specific , bs it is just a thought to make life better !

What a Week !

2006-11-24T14:03:00.001+02:00

What a Week !

I even forgot how does it feels like to write a post after this week ! Yes Yes , I started to complain ! It has been a month since the beginning of my pediatrics rotation , and this week our group was assigned to be at KAUH , so this week should be different !

I wake up at 6:00 AM , making sure clothes are ready the night before including the tie , in order to have extra minutes of sleep and avoid being late , since it takes me ages standing in front of the closet choosing what to wear ! Then we head directly to the hospital trying to make it there before 8:00 for the morning report praying not to be stopped by a flat tire or a radar . At the morning report we discuss some of yesterday's admissions , and no need to mention the amount of adrenaline being released when a doctor says " Daktoor ..... kont 2a3ed bel taware2 o ejak hada el mareed o 3endo heik heik heik ..... sho bte3mal " ...... - ba3mel shai sho bedi a3mel ya3ni , taba3an in case you have no idea what he is talking about your face will start getting techni-color !!!!!!!!!! At 9:00 we have a small break till 9:15 when the morning clinic starts , there would be 2 attending doctors , where we split in halves and everyone of us would be seated in a clinic and start receiving patients in order to present the cases to the doctor . In the first hours of the clinic , we barley receive a couple of patients , but when it approaches 11:30 patients starts to appear from no where , ya3ni bestano la7ata tseer el sa3a 12 o besharfo , 3anywayz we are usually late till 1 - 12:30 ....... After the clinic finishes we go to have some food at the cafeteria , they make some really good stuff , not the visitors one, the one for the hospital employee .... Anyways , after that we go to the 7th floor to have our lectures there , 2 hours of lecturing , 2 hours of sitting there knowing nothing about what does the doctor is talking about , 2 hours praying that those 2 hours pass quickly ...... what pisses me off is when the doctor say " you know what is a ....... , you took it before , right ? " everyone nods his/HER head and says yeah ........ We finish at around 4:00 AM . We are supposed to be attending the evening clinics too , but since we are having some lectures at that time , we were allowed to leave one hour early !! I get Amman at around 5 PM , I get there totally exhausted o 3ayef 7ali , where I can barely rest , eat , family time , net stuff , study .... before my bed time ! And the next day , when we don't answer the doctors criticize us for not studying " You are medical students , you should study all the time " , ya3ni don't they know that we don't have time men aslo ! Sighs ..... At last a weekend TO STUDY !

Lesa el masayeb next week !

Qwaider Planet Meeting

2006-11-18T00:23:00.000+02:00

Qwaider Planet Meeting

To all Qwaider Planeteers - and non planteers of course - what do u think of arranging a meeting ? H3

Imagine ...

2006-11-14T18:28:00.000+02:00

Imagine ...

Everyday , before going to sleep , I realize that I still have some forgotten work or certain issues that I should have taken care of during the day , but the problem is that it is night already - usually I figure that out between 12:00 - 1:00 AM - and I need to have some rest in order to be fully conscious , aware , oriented to time-place-and person , and responding well to the surrounding during the rounds and lectures the next day ; so I either leave all that missed stuff and get some sleep , or start filling the gaps and keep yawning the next day ......... at that time I wish that I could have an extra hour !

Imagine that you can have an extra hour at the end of each day , an hour to make a quick revision for what happened with you , an hour to catch up with what you have missed , an hour that can make things better ?

Mojamalat

2006-11-11T15:31:00.001+02:00

Mojamalat

Recently , while surfing the blogosphere I was lucky to find two amazing blogs

The first one is called Chocoholic Madness by Dino , which is simply all what someone needs to laugh , she has a funny and a so very unique way in expressing herself , that I have never encountered anyone with anything similar , besides to her funky pictures .
The second one is by Wedad called Between here and there , in addition to her sense of humor that is expressed through the posts , she has a so very much simple way in doing that , which makes her blog worth reading and interesting at the same time .

Each time I check their blogs I get happy to see a new post , because I know that I will start laughing !

Qwaider's Planet

2006-11-11T15:05:00.000+02:00

Qwaider's Planet

After the sauces we , in My Crazy Life , had achieved at JP , we proudly announce the opening of our second branch at Qwaider's Planet , its about 30 light-years away from earth , the second left after Neptune

Note :

Laysa ladayna foro3an - wella foro3on - 2o5ra !

You don't want to try this

2006-11-10T20:41:00.000+02:00

You don't want to try this

Whenever you find something looks like the thing in the picture above , don't think of putting in your mouth , it will cause you a condition of atropine like poisoning . Yesterday , at Prince Rashid Hospital , aka Idon's Hospital , we encountered 2 cases of that atropine like poisoning ; two young kids were curious enough to reap one of those plants their uncle keeps outside in the garden and try its taste , to present to the ER after a couple of hours with agitation , amnesia , fever , hallucination , and shortness of breath ......

Moral of the story : Curiosity kills

Note :

No one knew what is the fruit called
The bareezeh is to help in estimating the actual size of the fruit ! In other words , ya3ni zai el 3anjad !

Blogoversary

2006-11-09T17:02:00.000+02:00

Blogoversary

On this day one year ago , exactly at 12:03 AM , I started " My Crazy Life " . I couldn't imagine that this day will come someday , I was so excited and wanted time to pass quickly to celebrate my first year in the blogosphere , and my wish came true , I didn't feel the time at all , a complete year had passed . I was introduced to the blogosphere at July 2005 , when a friend of mine asked me to check something on Lina's blog , I went there , read what she wrote , and I didn't get the whole idea of the word " blogging ", after 2 months I started my Yahoo 360 , since I am a yahoo addict and I try anything they release , I enjoyed the idea of the new 360 at that time , and thought it was the first of its kind ..... Later on I was back again on lina's blog , and I discovered that the 36o was just an amateur attempt from yahoo compared to blogspot and the others . I started to check every tiny thing in her blog , I enjoyed what I have read there and somehow the idea started to blink in my mind , and serious attempts were taken to join blogspot , but it didn't work till about 1 month later , when I officially had my first post . And here I am now writing my first post in my second year of blogging , way to go !

After one year of rambling , I would like to thank all my readers and those who left me comments during the past year , for the smile they draw on my face with their words , thanks ! So keep on commenting ;)

Lately , I havent posted much , I was busy with making a new theme for the blog , fa I want to thank all those nice people who had helped me in this design and gave me their opinions , Thanks !

When Yansoon is a Medication !

2006-11-05T16:29:00.000+02:00

When Yansoon is a Medication !

Phone call : Hey doctor , my friend is sick what should I do ?
Doctor : Whats wrong with her , what happened .......
Phone call : O sho da5alak enta , just tell me what to do !

HUH !

A Woman Nature ?

2006-11-01T20:18:00.000+02:00

A Woman Nature ?

My friend : Do you prefer a beautiful woman or a woman with normal beauty ?
Moi : A beautiful woman for sure
My friend : Bs ra7 tdal m7amlak jmeileh o shayfeh 7alha tool el 3omor .......

Questions :

For males : Would you still take the risk & have a pretty woman ?
For Females : Are you 3anjad heik ????!!!!

After Two months

2006-10-30T23:00:00.001+02:00

After Two months

After two months of being in Amman , with lots of time wasting ..... After two months of electives , doing almost nothing at the Jordan University Hospital ..... After two months of relaxation , boredom , and stress free holiday , after two months of being away of my daily routine in the past years ; I was back , today was my second day in the new pediatrics rotation back there in Irbid .

With all my tensed up feeling about going back to books - which I know deep inside that I will keep stuck to till a pretty long time of the rest of my life - I kind of missed all that stressing stuff , I am not getting soft here , I still hate it , but do you know the things we hate much turns to be the exact same things we miss when they are gone ........ because somehow we got used to them ; for me since the elective started , I started to spend more free time with my family , I started to cause lots of trouble , I was the No. 1 annoying & troublesome person at house for 2 consecutive months , my pictures were hanged all over the house " Wanted dead or dead " . I am not used to be the one who gets the stuff all the time , I am not used to be the one who is asked to take care of everything , I am not used to be the one who drive in the damn traffic and stuck there for 15 minutes to get my brothers out of school ........ 3anywayz , somehow this ended today since from now on I will be busy " studying " ! Yeah right !

Now , I will be restoring myself to a point two months ago , despite all the stuff that took place during those two months , and all the changes that had been made , which I needed most for the upcoming period !